


Two of a Kind

by FuckYaChickenStrips



Category: Naruto
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Uzumaki Naruto, Bottom Gaara (Naruto), Fluff, M/M, Naruto will come in later chapters, Omega Gaara, Omegaverse, Seme Uzumaki Naruto, Slow Burn, Smut, Some angst, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Uke Gaara (Naruto), baki is a good dad, loving siblings, mentions of Shikamaru/Temari, people have dumb ideas for plot convenience, smut's in chapter 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2019-10-06 14:25:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17346866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckYaChickenStrips/pseuds/FuckYaChickenStrips
Summary: Due to Gaara and Naruto both being near a tailed beast before birth, they both developed the ability to sense and emit pheromones, a trait unique to only them. The two are destined to be with one another, but Naruto is... oblivious. Gaara, being the first of the two to recognize their connection, struggles to bring himself closer to the other man until a certain event occurs that changes everything.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts around the time Gaara is 13, after the Chunin exams. There will be a time skip around chapter 3, and that's when our lil blonde prince will show up. And Gaara will start talking/ thinking less robotically after the time skip.

The cement floor was cold underneath my burning fingers. I was lying face-down on the icy floor, looking for some kind of relief from the heat that was overwhelming me. As much as the dusty floor was bothering my eyes, it was well worth it to momentarily escape the heat. My heavy clothes had already been stripped off, leaving me wearing only a pair of black boxers. Nevertheless, there was still a light sheen of sweat on my skin due to the moonlight coming in from the window. I turned my head towards the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand above me. It read 1:27 AM. I heaved out a sigh and felt anxiety grow in my chest. This was unnatural. It was the middle of Autumn in Suna, it was never warm at night. I had already concluded that I was sick due to my fever, but I had never experienced anything so severe. It also was not very often that I would get short of breath for no reason. It wasn’t the first time tonight that I considered going to Kankuro or Temari. I knew that they would be more than willing to help me, but it had only been a few months since I started to try to change and the last thing I wanted to do was scare them. I pondered upon my choices for another few minutes. It seemed I only had two options: wait until morning to talk to them or wake them up now. I glanced at the clock again. 1:34 AM. I sighed lowly and decided it would be best to just suck it up. 

 

\---

 

   2:45 AM. I couldn’t do. Over the past hour, I had developed cramps and nausea. I slowly heaved myself off the dusty ground, pausing for a second before standing to prevent myself from throwing up. I held my arms across my stomach as I stumbled toward the bathroom. I collapsed a few steps before the toilet. Fortunately, my sand caught me. Unfortunately, it was completely covered in my vomit. I shook as I looked at the mess around me. It was far too early to bother my siblings about this, and I knew that they didn’t deserve to have to deal with this. I crawled forward a few steps towards the shower and sat on the cold tile below the showerhead. I willed sand to clean up the mess, noticing that it took more strength to control the sand than normal. As my sand flew across the room, picking up towels and turning the sink on and off, I slowly started removing the remainder of my clothes, followed by my sand shield.  

   After the mess was all cleaned up, I turned the water on and let the cold water drip down my back and into my messy hair. It felt strange, having something touch my bare skin. For so long, I had never allowed myself to take the entirety of my sand shield off at once. This was mostly because my paranoia about my father and his goons that were always watching, looking for some weak spot of mine. But now that he was gone… I was allowed to show my emotions, I was allowed to have aspirations, and I was allowed to have desires. It was a big change that I was struggling to get used to. Although my siblings have said repeatedly that I was “part of the family”, it seemed that I was an inconvenience to them more often than not. I sighed deeply, realizing that I was wasting water (which was practically a crime in Suna due to our location in the desert) and stood up on my shaky legs. After washing up, I reached for a towel and dried myself off, my fever already heating up my skin up after the icy shower. I wrapped the now damp towel around my waist and started walking towards my room. I kept my hand on the wall as I walked down the hallway, trying to keep myself from tipping over. It seemed that as my body heated up again, I started to get more nauseous and dizzy. Once I reached my room, I collapsed on the bed, using my sand to gently shut the door behind me. I laid on the bed for a few more minutes, gasping from over-exertion, despite not doing anything. I glanced over at the clock: 3:37 AM. I let out a shaky sigh; it felt like my body was being pulled apart. Regardless, I stood up and tried to get clothed, opting to go for a pair of shorts instead of just boxers. I returned to the same spot on my bed and laid my head in my hands. Only three more hours until morning.

 

\---

 

   4:32 AM. I have thrown up two times since my shower (but this time I was successful in making it to the toilet). I was laying on my back on the bathroom floor, deciding it was better to just remain there than run back and forth from my room. My entire body was soaked with sweat and my breathing was heavy. Feelings of anxiety were crushing me. Everything felt wrong; my hands were shaking, the bumps on my neck and in between my thighs were swollen, and my head was foggy. I reached towards one of the bumps; it was located at the base of my neck, where it starts to connect with my shoulder on the left side. I had another in the exact same spot on the right side as well. I gently touched the bump and felt fluid cover my fingers. It looked like… water? It was clear and had the consistency of water, but it reeked of something indescribable. I touched the bump again and started rubbing small circles around the bump. I felt a strange emotion fill my chest. It reminded me of… relief? I repeated the action as I thought of what to do. I knew something was wrong with me. Time was passing far too slow and I was worried about what state I would be in once morning arrived. I raked my muddled brain for some solution that would not entail waking up my siblings. What could I do to stop this from happening? It seemed the only option was to get help, but my siblings were not an option and I couldn’t see myself getting to a doctor without dying. Hmmm… 

I thought for a few minutes before landing on the perfect solution, one that I should have thought about hours ago… Baki. Baki was my team’s leader and was someone who was somewhat comfortable with my presence. But most importantly, he had stepped in to be the legal guardian for my siblings and I. In addition, his bedroom was only a few hallways away. I struggled to pull myself off the tile floor. Grasping onto the walls, I pulled myself up and started making my way down the hall. As I walked, my body seemed to be getting heavier with every step. I leaned my entire body against the wall and started trudging forward. My chest started to ache, begging for some form of help, and I did my best to ignore the feeling as I took another few steps forward. My chest was burning with heat and anxiety and I felt vomit from the back of my throat. I quickly covered my mouth with both my hands and felt my body start sliding down the wall. I could taste it in the back of my throat and felt a burning sensation on my tongue. I sat on the ground, catching my breath and doing my best to not wake my siblings. I slowly pushed myself off the ground, feeling lightheaded the moment I got onto my feet. Nevertheless, I took a few more steps forward, managing to make it to the end of the first hallway. I lowered my body to the ground once again. I must have taken around thirty steps from my room to here, but I felt far more exhausted after this walk than the run I took to get back from Konoha to Suna. I cursed the giant house. I had always felt it was unnecessary to give the Kazekage such a giant living space. We had hallways filled full of rooms with a kitchen and living area at the center, the entire top floor of the Kazekage mansion reserved only for one family. It was ridiculous. 30 bedroom, 17 bathrooms all spread out. Of course, I didn’t blame Baki for choosing the room furthest away from mine, his reasons were completely valid, but it did make it far more difficult to get to his room (if I remember which one it is). I stood up and tried to keep my breathing even as I started to walk again. I grasped the wall for dear life as I pushed myself further, hoping that I could make it to his room without passing out. 

That, by far, was my biggest concern. I knew that any plans I had to get Suna to like me would be completely tarnished by Shukaku. It has been about seven years since the last time I had a problem with Shukaku inside the walls of Suna. I had to show everyone that I had control over the One-Tail. With fear driving me, I forced myself to take a few more steps. All I wanted was to reach the end of the hallway before I would take another break. My feet were hard to move, and I felt as if I were walking through quicksand. I started to wheeze as I pushed further, collapsing with a  _ thud! _ as I reached the end of the hallway. I sat on the ground and gasp for air, feeling as though my throat was closing. I felt panic rise in my chest as I struggled to breathe. I sucked in for air, my breaths starting to make a loud gasping noise. I reached for my neck as tears starting welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know what was happening. All I knew was that I couldn’t breathe, and something was wrong. I felt a strong rush of adrenaline and stood up quickly. My legs shook as I took quick steps towards Baki’s room, verging on a run. My breathing hadn’t gotten any less quiet and I was several steps away when my legs gave out. I felt more tears drip down my face and I was shaking violently from panic. I tried crawling forward but my body was far too sluggish to respond. I felt stuck, lying face-down on the dirty carpet, mere feet away from safety. My body was begging for something indescribable, and, for the first time in a while, I was looking to another person for help. 

Suddenly, I felt something gently touch my hair. I let out what sounded like a small scream and my breathing got louder and harder. I heard a garbled sound that sounded like it was shouted through a sandstorm. Whatever was touching my hair had backed away, but I still couldn’t move my body. I had resorted to closing my eyes and trying to breathe as neither my body nor my sand would react to my commands. As my breathing got more steady, the sound got more clear, as if it were coming closer to me. As the sound got more and more clear, I could start to make out some words.

“Can.. me... are… what… Gaara…,” they were spread out with garbled sound in between each coherent word. I felt more and more fear grow in my chest with the memories of my father coming back. On multiple occasions he had arranged men to kill me, deeming me as a “broken tool”. I felt my body curl up into a ball. After the first attempt, he has sent groups full of men to come assassinate me. On the second attempt, he sent some of his best men (12, in total) to come kill me. Ultimately, I had to resort to letting Shukaku take control. I could feel something touching me again, and whimpered, feeling absolutely defenseless. I had no sand shield, I had no sand, and I had no power. But I felt no pain from the person. I continued to hear their garbled voice and felt the thing in my hair had not moved. I paid attention to the voice, my breathing starting to even out. I kept my eyes shut, focusing all my effort on the voice.

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. You are safe,” the voice repeated over and over, saying the words slowly and calmly. The voice was deep and masculine, definitely adult and strikingly familiar. I focused on the voice some more, calming myself the best that I can… Baki. It sounded like Baki. 

“B-Baki?” I whispered, my voice abnormally hoarse.

“Yes. Hi Gaara. What on Earth happened?” he asked gently, keeping his hand in my hair. I struggled as I tried to sit up, my arm unable to support my weight.

“Oh- be careful. Here,” He said wrapping his arm under mine and lifting me up to a sitting position. He gently set me up against the wall and he was close enough that I could hear his breathing. 

“Hey- Gaara, open your eyes, it’s okay,” he said slowly, keeping a hand on my shoulder to keep me from collapsing. I slowly opened my eyes, having to blink multiple times before my sight was clear. Baki was looking at me with his eyebrows drawn together. It was strange seeing him without his head wrap or mask. The right side of his face was uncovered, exposing the wide scar that ran down his face and destroyed his right eye. Without his head wrap, small points of black hair were pointing out in odd directions, and he had uneven stubble on his jaw. I tried to focus on all the details of his face and body, as you are trained to do as a shinobi, but my eyes weren’t working well. 

“W-what happened?” he asked me, a bewildered look in his eyes. 

“I- I do- don’t-,” I was struggling to get words out. My brain started to get fuzzy, and the corners of my vision started to blur. I felt sweat pouring down my body and felt Baki’s eyes boring into me. I glanced away from his gaze, drifting towards a spot on the ground. It looked like a small wine stain. 

Baki let out a small sigh. “Ca- May I-uh… touch you?” Baki asked hesitantly. I nodded as a reply, the small action making my head ache. Baki reached a hand up to my forehead, gently touching underneath my damp, sweaty hair. His hand was gentle against my skin.

“Oh my god,” he said, and his hand pressed harder against my forehead, “Y- you’ve got a ridiculous fever. Let’s... Uhh… How about you lay in my bed for a bit and I can get you water and a thermometer?”

I whispered out a small “yes”, completely embarrassed from showing such a pitiful side of me. I glanced over to him and he had a small smile on his face and a soft look in his eyes. It was remarkable seeing this from a “heartless” shinobi, though I guess the same thing could be said about me. 

Baki stood up slowly and looked down at me, offering me a hand. I reached a shaky arm up to reach his and tried my best to pull myself up. I managed to get part-way up before collapsing. 

“Hmm. You really aren’t doing so well are you, Gaara?” Baki said with a concerned look on his face, followed by a yawn. Although I knew it wasn’t his intention, it felt as though I were being shamed for being weak. 

“I-I’m f-”

“Gaara, it’s okay- here,” Baki said with a small smile, leaning down to help me up, “I don’t want to jostle you so-uh…”. He leaned down to me and picked me up bridal style. My embarrassment turned into complete humiliation. I lifted my weak arms to cover my face and tucked my head into my chest. I heard Baki’s deep rumbling laugh. 

“I think it’ll be easier if you sleep if ‘my’ room. It’s close to the kitchen and has a connecting bathroom. I can sleep in one of the other hundred rooms in this house,” Baki said with a smile. He starting walking into his room that was a few paces away. 

The interior of the room was rather bland. The walls were a creme color with a wooden dresser next to a full-length mirror. There was a small, wooden desk in the other corner of the room that had papers littered across it. I could see papers sticking out of the metal filing cabinet sitting next to it. In the center of the room, there was a grand queen-sized bed. It had a wooden frame, one that matched both the dresser and the desk, with creme colored sheets, pillows, and comforter, which matched the walls. The entire room smelled like lemon cleansing towelettes, artificial flowers, dust, and Baki’s scent. I used my hands to cover up my nose; the scents were overpowering.

“Oh does the smell bother you? This room was so dusty but I had no idea where your cleaning stuff was so I just bought some wipes. And that smelled awful so I lit one of my candles. I think that made it worse but, hey, at least it doesn’t smell like dust,” Baki said, laying me down on his bed. 

“The vacuum and broom are in the closet closest to my bedroom, if you’d like to know,” I said, covering the nose. 

“Heh, thanks,” he said sheepishly, “I’m gonna go grab the stuff. Shout if you need anything”. He turned and headed out towards the kitchen. 

I turned and glanced at the nightstand. 5:04 AM. Baki sure was generous.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor arrived and diagnosed Gaara with being horny. Nice.

About an hour or two, after I got settled into Baki’s room, he came back to take my temperature. Baki had seemed pretty concerned and scheduled the doctor to come meet me at the mansion. In between Baki calling the doctor and her returning, everything seemed to change rather rapidly. Baki was far more eager to be around me, even offering to make me a meal and sit and talk to me. I have never seen Baki as anything more than a fellow shinobi, but… he seemed to act differently around me once I got sick. When he looked at me, he didn’t have the same hard look in his eyes; he didn’t try to keep everything he said to me short and blunt. I don’t know exactly how to explain it… maybe he liked me? Or maybe he felt obligated to care for me as he is my squad leader and legal guardian. His entire demeanor was different as well. His shoulders were far less tense, and he smiled occasionally when he spoke. It felt nice to have a conversation with someone that wasn’t just about a mission, or some atrocity that I caused. He enjoyed talking about interesting things he learned when traveling outside of Suna, like different foods and traditions. He got a special glint in his eyes when he rambled about the animals that he saw deep in the Konoha forest, or near the sea in Kirigakure. 

I loved watching Baki talk. I don’t have any hobbies besides ninjutsu, and to watch someone ramble about something with such passion… it was just so different from the official ways that people normally talk to me. It reminded me of Naruto and the way that he spoke to me with such passion and understanding, despite not knowing me. My body seemed to twist in response to my thoughts; my gut wrenched, and I felt my body get hotter and hotter until I was breathing heavily. I slumped against the mattress, losing the strength to keep my head up, and my head became cloudy with the thought of Naruto. 

“Gaara? Hey, Gaara!”

I gasp in and out breaths and tried to focus my mind on Baki. My mind felt fuzzy as if I had been drugged, but I still managed to focus on Baki.

“Hey, kid I’m sorry. I should have been paying more attention. The doctor should be here any minute. Drink some water,” Baki looked at me with wide eyes and held a glass of ice water to my lips and helped me drink, keeping a hand on my head to prop me up. 

“The doctor will be here soon, Gaara”.

 

\---

  
  


Knock knock knock. 

Baki gasp sharply and announced, “They’re here,” before walking over to let them in. I glanced over from the bed and saw the doctor: a small girl with a blonde ponytail. 

“Hi! I’m Dr. Naasu,” the girl said with a high pitched voice, and confidently walked in. As she walked past me to set her case down, I could faintly smell mango and peach radiating off her. 

“What seems to be the problem? Mr. Baki said that you have a fever and were vomiting, is that all?” She asked, opening a small bag. 

“Umm… well…,” I said, eyeing Baki. He looked back at me, making a small startled sound, then stated “I’ll leave it to you, doc” before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

“Umm… yeah. I haven’t been vomiting much anymore, but I feel kind of… weak and lightheaded. I’ve also been getting hot flashes,” I said, bringing my knees up to my chest and squirming under her careful gaze. 

“Okay then! Have you been coughing at all? Or sneezing? Or anything else?” She asked, glancing over at me as she pulled out a thermometer.

“No,” I answered, “I’ve just been very hot and weak. That’s it,” I answered.

“Hmmm”. She set the thermometer under my tongue and held onto my wrist to check my pulse. She moved her warm hands around on my wrist, not keeping her hands on any spot for very long. I could see her frown deepen as she looked at my arm.

_ Beep beep! _ She glanced up at the thermometer and set it aside.

“Your fever hasn’t changed,” she told me quietly, “I’m not finding a good spot on your wrist to check your pulse, may I check your chest?”

I blushed brightly at the idea of her being any closer to me. Even though she had gloves on, I wasn’t very fond of all the touching. I nodded slowly and felt her hands come up to my chest, feeling that they were far too close to my neck for comfort. Her face was mere inches from mine, polluting the air with the strong scent of mango. It all felt wrong; I leaned back to gasp in a breath of fresh air. 

“Your heartbeat is normal. What are these bumps on your neck?” She asked, running her fingers gently over the spot. The moment her fingers made contact with the sensitive skin, my body seized up and I felt my groin… um… harden. My mind got fuzzy and I felt my breathing get heavier. 

“I-I’ve always… just had those,” I said, feeling self-conscious, even in front of the doctor. She started at the bumps and I raised my shoulders up to hide them. 

“Stop doing that,” she ordered. She looked at the spot for a while, before asking: “Do you have these anywhere else?” Her brow was furrowed, looking at the spot with an apprehensive look. 

“I have them… on the inside… of my thighs,” I huffed nervously. The extreme change in her attitude wasn’t helping my anxiety. Things felt very wrong.

“Show me,” she ordered. 

I blushed deeply, remembering my “problem”. I stuttered and shook, too mortified to admit what was wrong. She looked at me with confusion.

“What’s the problem? I’m a doctor, you know. I’ve seen every part of the human body inside and out, both female and male. You shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of me,” she said, removing the covers from over my groin, sighing when she saw me with my knees pressed to my chest. Although her words made sense to me, it didn’t stop me from feeling humiliated. I slowly unbent my knees and showed her where the bumps were, trying my best to ignore my obvious problem. I lifted up the bottom of my baggy shorts and revealed the bump on the right side, followed by the one on the left. She pulled out a notepad from her bag and her hand flew from one side of the page to the next, an intrigued look on her face as she stared at the marks. I watched her work as I tried to stay still, trying to hide my face. Suddenly, I heard her pen stop scribbling. I glanced over at her and saw her blank face staring at her notepad. She slowly lifted her head up to face me. 

“Hey kiddo, I know this is going to be really embarrassing for you but I need to know,” the doctor said softly, “Did you get your erection from me touching your neck?”.

I felt my face light up with humiliation. Even though it was obvious, I had much rather prefer when we pretended that my “problem” didn’t exist. I covered my bent knees with my arms and looked away, feeling heat grow in my face. I shut my eyes tight and nodded. The doctor went immediately back to her notepad.

“S-so about me being sick…,” I said slowly, trying to change back to the original subject, “umm… what’s going on with that?”

“I think those bumps on your neck and thigh are what’s causing your sickness. I have a theory, I just want to know more and get another opinion on it later, okay?” she asked, now paying far more attention to her notes than to me. I hummed in agreement, curling my body up into a ball. 

“I’m going to get another look at your neck, okay?” she said, glancing at me. I was hesitant to reply. I had touched the bumps before, but I had never responded to it the way I did when she touched them. My face burned, but I agreed. If what she was doing would stop the sickness, then the humiliation would certainly be worth it. 

She stepped closer, her smell now attacking me far more than before. She felt too close, too unfamiliar. Regardless, I let her touch me. She reached her gloved hand to the areas around the bumps, pressing, prodding, her face not changing the fascinated look that glanced back and forth between my face and my neck. She was yet to touch it, but she still went back and forth between her notepad and me. 

Eventually, she set her notepad down entirely and pressed her left hand against the front of my chest so I was stuck in between her hand and the bed. She used her right hand to brush her fingers over the area. The effect seemed to be immediate. My groin ached and twitched with the feeling, and she glanced over to my flushed face. She kept her finger on the bump and started pressing slowly, pleasure building in my groin. As she pressed harder, I struggled to suppress any sounds. I used my hand to cover my face, and she removed her hand entirely. I gasp in for air and shook. What just happened? I had never felt anything so strong before. I leaned back into the covers and hid my face with my hand. I could feel my face burn with embarrassment, but I let the woman do whatever she wants; I’d do anything to get myself out of this hell. 

“Did that feel good?” she asked glancing at me. I kept my hand in front of my face and nodded. She scribbled on her notepad for a few seconds.

“Okay! What I’m going to do now is either going to hurt really bad or be very pleasurable. Either way, don’t attack me! Are you ready?” she asked. I nodded again, covering my pulsating erection with my left arm. I was desperate for this woman to leave. 

She returned to her original position and told me to close my eyes, which I did hesitantly. It was a concern of mine that she could kill me, easily. Although I try to hide my paranoia, it still exists. Before I could think anymore, I felt her fingers on my neck again, this time instead of pressing, she dug her fingernails into my neck. I felt my entire body react instantly; my back arched, my eyes rolled back, pleasure rolled down my entire body starting from my neck. I felt a strange feeling around my rectum. Her finger dug in deeper and all the feelings intensified. I felt my pants get wet, soaking me down to my thighs. I let out a loud sharp sound, and she removed her hand the moment she heard it. I flailed with the loss of feeling, a whine being emitted from my chest. My body immediately moved, leaving me with my back arched and my butt in the air. I gasp to catch my breath, my new vantage point making me realize what I was doing. I heard vigorous scribbling as I tried to move. 

“Don’t move. Let me look at you,” she ordered. My face burned and my groin ached. I felt… in need, but I couldn’t put my finger on what I needed. 

“I'm going to need to lift your pants up, don’t move anymore, okay? I’m taking a swatch to test later” I dug my face into the pillows and let out a muffled whine. I felt a cotton ball run up the sides of my thighs, my body shaking in response. She dropped the fluid into a container and put it into her case.

“I’m going to get some tests done, okay. I’ll come back with more later,” she said, covering my weak body with the blanket., “I’ll describe what happened to Mr. Baki”.

I let out a sound similar to “thank you” and she walked out. 

 

\---

  
  


It was three days after the incident with the doctor. I still felt humiliated after what happened, and my body felt needier than usual. I felt bad for Baki who’s had to change the sheet five times due to the liquid that has started to leak out of me. It’s been absolutely mortifying to have to tell him that I practically wet myself. The liquid definitely isn’t pee, as it’s slimy and slippery, but it’s still humiliating to tell Baki.

I’ve found that my body starts to release this liquid when I think of one of two things: 

  1. Being touched (specifically my scent glands)
  2. Naruto



I’ve always had a craving for being touched in the past, as it’s been something I’ve been missing for the vast majority of my life. There has never been someone in my life who would jump at the opportunity to touch me, much less be close to me. Regardless, I’ve had an unhealthy craving to be touched recently. As much as it humiliates me to say, I have spent more than a few hours crying over the lack of attention. It was hard to say why, as I’ve gone years without attention. 

I haven’t figured out why Naruto triggers such a response for me. I have never had attractions to Naruto before, or to anyone really. I’ve thought about sex before, but have always found heterosexual sex to be extremely strange and weird to me. I have just never seen the appeal. As for homosexual sex… I don’t know. I’ve spent hours thinking about whether I’m really attracted to men or not. I have never had a crush before, or been “turned on” by the “sexy” photos of men I’ve seen… but it’s different when I think about Naruto. He seems to be something that fits into either category. I don’t need to think about him sexually either to get… effected. If I picture his face, his beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous blonde hair my body reacts in a… dishonorable way. I assume that would make me a homosexual, just extremely picky. It felt as if a knife had been removed from my back, a weight lifted off my shoulders… I had figured out something new about myself; I was getting better at learning emotional things. To me, that is certainly something to be proud of. 

 

\---

 

Knock knock!

“Hey, Gaara the doctor’s here!” Baki shouted from outside the door. I glanced up towards the door. This meant that I could figure out what was wrong, I could remove myself from the hell that I was going through. 

The door swung open with a creak and was shut abruptly behind the small doctor. 

“Hi, Gaara. Have you been feeling better recently?”

“Not really. Everything’s been pretty much the same,” I replied plainly. 

“Hmm… well okay. We got the results back. Your situation is definitely strange; I’ve never seen anything like it before. We found that your body is emitting pheromones. Do you know what those are?”

I looked at her and shook my head. Pheromones? 

“They’re similar to hormones but are used outside of your body. They type that you emit are sex-oriented. Basically, you emit something similar to a scent that tells other people that you want to have sex. It can also show your mood”

I stared at her. I felt my face grow red. Was I still breathing? Do I really want to keep breathing? Was she really telling me that everyone could tell when I’m horny but just haven’t told me yet?

“WHAT?”

She laughed gently, “Oh I forgot to mention: pheromones can only be sensed by beings that emit pheromones. Generally put, no human but yourself can sense pheromones, which makes your ability completely useless because you can only sense human pheromones. This is all probably as a result of bearing Sukaku while still developing. As for your sickness, it is related. The liquid you have been realizing is like a lubricant that makes it easier to have sex, and your weakness is so you can be dominated easier. We can provide you with medicine to fix this though”

“B-but why am I the one being dominated? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

She sighed. “Well that would make sense, but it seems that your body acts as a female would. If I were you, I’d go find a nice boy to live with who can fix your problems, and not worry”.

  
  


I stared at her in disbelief. 

“B-boy?” I asked. How did she know that I liked boys? I only figured it out an hour ago! I had always assumed that I’d never be attracted to anyone sexually, like most boys my age are.

“Uhh… yes Gaara, boy. I thought that it was pretty obvious, considering the way you reacted to my touch”.

She smiled at me softly and suggested, “We can get you suppressants that make your heats less powerful and reduce the number of pheromones you emit”.

I sighed in relief, grateful that there was some solution to my problem. “I would like that very much”. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo... sorry I took 3 1/2 decades to post another chapter. Hope y'all liked this one


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek I haven't posted in sooo long! I feel like I say this every time. I hope you enjoy all the wholesome conversations in this fic! 
> 
>  
> 
> PS: This takes place directly after the war in Kumogakure.

_ Huuuu, hooo, huuuu, hooo _

Heavy snores blared across the dark room. I turned and shot an angry glare to my sleeping elder brother, Kankuro. I’d be a liar if I said I hadn’t considered smothering him to death. I let out a hefty sigh and started to rub my temples. I could still feel annoyance twinging at me; I had just been involved in a particularly shitty trade deal, one that I had absolutely no say in whatsoever. 

_ “Well since we only have two rooms, I’ll get one of them and you and Gaara can share the other,” Temari had said, like this arrangement was apparent. _

_ “Well then I get the bed ‘cus I’m older than Gaara,” Kankuro exclaimed. Temari nodded in agreement. _

_ “Are neither of you going to consult me?” I had questioned, vexed that they didn’t  bother asking me first.  _

_ “Sorry bro, majority rules,” Kankuro had sneered. Again, Temari nodded in agreement. _

I frowned and took a glance out the window into the foggy darkness, and could faintly see the tips of rocks that stood tall around Kumogakure. The village was beautiful, with lush trees near the outskirts. Of course, it didn’t hold a candle to Suna, not by a long shot. 

I hefted myself off the firm armchair and ambled quietly towards the restroom. The living space the Raikage provided was opulent, but small; it containing two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a somewhat spacious living room. Of course, he assigned one room to me and the others to my bodyguards (my siblings), but that didn’t carry any weight to them. I proceeded into the room, making eye contact with myself in the mirror, but sheepishly looking down. Temari’s makeup, hair things, and combs littered the counter, and Kankuro’s purple face paint was placed haphazardly near the edge of the counter, unlidded. I sighed and observed my complexion, leaning in to closer to see myself better. 

I slowly brushed my hand over the skin under my eyes, darkly bruised from insomnia. My green eyes looked piercing near my fiery hair, and my extremely fair skin just called more attention to me. On the left side of my forehead was a large red mark, the kanji for love, a relic of my past self. Back then, I had never considered my appearance to be something of importance. It, obviously, wasn’t something I could heavily control, so it didn’t matter; and I didn’t know of anyone who was daring enough to make a comment about me. But now…, I felt it was far more important to look attractive, sophisticated, strong. My slim body certainly didn’t look “strong” or “attractive”, and being a whopping 5’4 didn’t help either. I’ve heard whispers about my age and attitude, describing me as insolent or crass so… not “sophisticated”. I tried to avoid letting this irritate me and focus more on my attire, adopting formal wear instead of athletic wear. The coat broadened and sharpened my shoulders, and made me look a decent weight. Without it, I’d appear scrawny, young, and, daresay, weak. Opting for red was definitely a bold choice, but my hair was far less oppugnant. Black certainly suited me better, but it was far too reminiscent of my older self, and I have always tried to avoid that affiliation.

I leaned back from the mirror to get a more apparent look at my hair. Unruly would by far be an understatement; It protruded out in all directions. It was always a surprise to look in the mirror and to see what direction my hair choose to stand in each day. I have made an effort to change the unmanageable spikes to nice curls, but it never seemed to stay. I put my face into my clammy hands and shook my head. My appearance shouldn’t matter! Realistically, I could dye my hair, wear contacts, cover my scar, draw on eyebrows, and conceal my eye bags, but would I remain myself? Would I remain as the socially awkward, sixteen-year-old politician? Would I still be the bloodthirsty monster? Would I still be the Kazekage? I firmly believe that my strange looks have been a portion of the reason I have gotten so far, because I stick out. With all the muted colors that pervade Suna, the bright red stands out. The sharp aqua color is noticeable from miles away, influencing stories of “the sand monster with eyes like knives”. My garish appearance is what has pushed me into the limelight, but… will Naruto still like me? Will Naruto ever stare into my intense eyes and call them beautiful? Kiss my bony body? Run his fingers through my knotted hair? Will he ever be able to look at me and find me attractive? That is what it all boils down to, I presume. Boy troubles. 

 

\---

  
  


After wallowing in self-pity for a few hours, I decided it would be best to make breakfast for my siblings, no matter how annoyed I was with them. Of course it would certainly be  _ convenient _ if Temari took  _ my _ side and voted to allow _ me  _ sleep on the bed instead of Kankuro, but that wasn’t my intention. Not in  _ any _ way.

I quickly scrapped up some pancake mix, and stacked up enough pancakes to feed a village (or Kankuro, same difference). I prepared the table with napkins, silverware, and placemats, then turned towards the cupboard to get out the syrup, a special luxury in Suna. As I dug through the endless cereal and chip bags, I heard sluggish footsteps coming from behind me.

“Finally got out of your den, I see,” I commented as Kankuro walked in, curiously eyeing the pancakes. 

He hummed, probably not listening, and reached one of his grubby hands towards  _ my _ pancakes.

“Hey! I didn’t make those for you! Get your nasty hands off my pancakes!” I yelled, swinging a metal butter towards his hand. He quickly swiped a pancake off the top of the stack, folded it and shoved it in his mouth.

“Here you want this back?” He asked with a sly smile, his words muffled by  _ my _ pancakes. He reached the half-eaten pancake over to me, keeping the same shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Fuckin’  _ gross _ !”

“Wow, Kankuro, getting Gaara to cuss. What a feat,” Temari said blithely, taking a seat at the table, “Gaara did you make food?”

“Well who else would have made them?” I snapped, still shooting a death glare at Kankuro. He only snorted in response.

“Damn, okay,” Temari replied, placing a few small pancakes onto her plate. 

We bickered for the remainder of the meal, something that would have seen unfeasible just five years ago. But, here I was with a loving family, my dream job, and peace. The only thing absent was Naruto. As much as I try to circumvent even thinking about it, my body craved… a man. It craved touch, company, and more… intimate things. The thought alone is enough to change my mood. 

“Gaara?”

I glanced up to meet the eyes of my sister, carrying a beautiful dark green color, that took on a gentle look when she was at home. It seemed that she’s always had a soft spot for me, her baby brother. Honestly, I still maintain that I don’t deserve her forgiveness. More than anyone, she was affected by my rash actions. She lost her mother, she lost her father to madness, and became the fill-in mother for Kankuro, all by the age of three. And yet, here she was, acting as my bodyguard and the best big sister the world has to offer. 

“Gaara? Earth to Gaara?” she lowered her head to make eye contact with me. 

“Um, uh, s-”

“Don’t apologize. You just looked lost in thought… and maybe a little sad. You’ve been looking like that since the end of the war. What’s bugging you?” she asked with a gentle tone. I gazed up further and looked around. Kankuro’s seat was empty. If I were to tell her the truth, I didn’t want him rubbing salt into a recently opened wound. He didn’t know any better not to.

“Kankuro left fifteen minutes ago. He’s helping decipher seals used by Madara. What’s wrong, Gaara?” she pressed, nearly inundating me. 

“It’s…” I didn’t quite know how to phrase it. I have a crush? I’m in love? I want Naruto to pound me until I can’t remember my own name? “…I’m meeting up with… someone tomorrow and… I want to… impress them,” I quavered out, hoping it was a decent middle ground.

“You have a crush?” she asked bluntly. I sputtered in response; so much for the “hiding it” idea.

“I- I don’t- how did you- is it- Temari!” I spat out. She smiled back at me smugly, “Uh- umm… yes”.

She gave me a wide grin, “So then what’s the deal? You want to look nice?”

“Well… yes. I also want to seem… approachable”.

She looked at me with an ever growing smile, “You want your big sister to give you a makeover?!” She laughed and squealed uncharacteristically, driving me by the shoulders towards the restroom. I laughed nervously; I fear what she is going to do to me. 

“Okay, okay! Stand still, I’m gonna mess with your hair for a sec’,” she reached her hand into my hair, and ran her fingers through it, pulled it lightly and wrapped it around her thin fingers. She shifted them from the front of my hair towards the back, moving all the hair in different directions. Her lips were turned up in the slightest of smiles, showing a soft look in her eyes as she tousled my hair. Her eyes eventually drifted down to my face, and she muttered, “I’ve got an idea”.

“Oh no”.

“Oh you shut it brat and turn around to face the mirror,” she snapped back playfully, forcibly turning me by the shoulders.

When I looked in the mirror I could see Temari’s slight smirk and my messy hair that looked five times worse than it had before, if that was possible. 

“What did you do?” I asked in a bewildered whisper. I heard her huff out a laugh.

“I haven’t even started yet, kid. I’m just brainstorming. How about this,” she asked, running her fingers through a strand of my hair and curling it up, holding for a few seconds, then releasing it. The hair fell back down gracefully, but instead of forming a sharp point, it curled up slightly. Very subtle, but it looked very soft.

“Do you like it?” she asked, eyeing me through the mirror..

“Y-yeah”.

She beamed, “I’m glad. I’ll start doing the rest of it with a curling iron and spray it with hairspray. It’ll make it last longer”. 

 

\---

  
  


“Hold your breath,” Temari order, covering my eyes with her left hand while her right held a purple bottle of hairspray. She sprayed a generous amount, the substance taking on a light lavender smell. She removed her hand from over my eyes and allowed me to look at my reflection.

“There, all done. Do you like it?”

I let out a choked laugh, “Y-yeah. I really, really like it”. The light curls seemed to give my face more dimension, and make me look a bit older. 

“Hmmm… me too. So am I going to have to guess who this mysterious person is or are you going to tell me?”

Damn it. I knew she wanted to know. 

I sighed lightly. “It’s… um… it’s Naruto. I- I just have known him for a while and feel almost… destined to be with him… probably because of the whole pheromones thing. I think he emits pheromones, too (from Kurama) but in a different way than I do. I can’t be certain because of the suppressants, but it just… feels… so good to be around him, in a way that is so vastly different than anyone else. It’s completely indescribable”.

She gazed gently at me. “He really is a great choice for you, Gaara. But…, I don’t really get what you mean about the whole pheromones thing. I guess that’s understandable, but do you wanna try to explain it to me?”

I sighed deeply. How was I going to explain this to her? It was like trying to explain color to a blind person, or sound to a deaf person. 

“Well it’s kind of like a scent, I guess? But it’s more rooted in feelings. Like I can feel him, but it relies on his scent. Is that at all comprehensible?”

“Comprehensible enough,” she shrugged, looking a bit puzzled. “Is it like an ongoing feeling that you get whenever you’re with him? Or is it just when you meet up?”  
“No, it only really happens when we’re further apart. When we’re together, I don’t feel it as much. I just feel safe, like he’ll protect me,” I paused for a minute, and contemplated telling her the one piece of information I’d been withholding. It was embarrassing for me, even though I’m sure she already knows. “W-when I was with the doctor, when this all started, she- she said that there’s something like a hierarchy with your pheromones, that is something you’re born with”.

She frowned, and I looked away from her. It was common knowledge to that I was gay both she and my brother but… to say that I was born with it, to take dick… it was just humiliating. “And?” she asked in a hesitant tone.

“The nurse told me that there’s one that naturally dominant; they’re always the leader, they’re bred to be the strongest, and to fight for their families. Those are the Alphas,” I took a deep breath in, “Then there’s the omegas. They’re the mothers, the child bearers. They stay at home and care for the family, and their only job is to be a spouse and a mother. That’s… that’s what I am”.

She looked at me in awe for a minute, then took a step in. “Does that sound like it describes you? Do you think you fit that stereotype”

“No. Of course not. I don’t want to take care of children, I want to fight and protect Suna, not be protected”.

“Then say fuck it. Ignore it. Do you know how many times I’ve been told that I don’t fit the ‘womanly’ role well? That I should be more gently, obey authority, and begin to settle down? To not curse, to be less aggressive, to be more modest?”

I lifted my head up, and shook my head lightly.

“Thousands, thousands upon thousands of times. And you know what I said to them?” She looked at me with humor in her eyes, an light smirk on her face, “I said ‘fuck you’. I kept living, and worked harder to show that I’m a far too valuable asset to shove into a house and bear some guy’s children. You’ve already proven that. And if anyone says otherwise… just tell ‘em to suck your dick. Keep living”.

I sat with my mouth agape. I had never thought about it that way… it really wasn’t something I should be concerned about. Naruto has never been demanding or stereotypical; he’d never treat me, or, quite frankly, anyone else in a negative way. I sighed softly, feeling the weight of the world be lifted of my shoulders. 

“Don’t you think you should be chasing Naruto’s tail right instead of sitting here with your mouth hanging open?”  
Oh shit. 

 

\---

  
  


“Oi, Gaara! You’re soooooo late! I’m starving!”

Oh, there he was. My head turned instinctively towards the whiny voice, and saw my beautiful Naruto.

“oh,” I said, barely above a whisper. He looked amazing; his bright blonde hair was swaying gently in the sun, like dandelions in a field. His ocean blue eyes were a stark difference from his tan skin. I turned to face him and took a step closer. The only trouble was his expression; his soft lips were held in a deep frown. I never want to see him sad. I stumbled a bit closer, but saw his expression change to looking a bit confused… I hadn’t greeted him yet, and it had been at least ten seconds since he spoke to me. 

“Ah, Naruto! My apologies for being late,” I replied in a apologetic tone. A small smile grew on his lips… how beautiful. 

“Okay, okay! It’s not like we’re in a meeting or anything; you don’t have to be so formal,” he chuckled. My breath caught in my throat… I’d been with him for less than a minute and had already messed up twice. “Let’s go get ramen, okay?” He asked with a giddy voice.

He dragged me into the restaurant and we choose seats on the counter. He leaned over the counter towards the soups and breathed in deeply. I refrained myself from leaning over to smell Naruto the same way. We weren’t anywhere close enough for me to openly smell him; I didn’t even know if he was an alpha or not. 

“Ahhh… how nice! I’ve eaten here twelve times already but I still can’t get over their soup!”

“Naruto! Welcome back! The regular?” 

“Yes, yes! And get one extra please!” I gazed at Naruto. It seemed funny that he was able to make relationships so fast. A tiny bit of me was jealous; I found it near impossible to make relationships, even in Suna. He just has a god-like gift, I guess.

“I hope you like Miso Chashu Pork ‘cus that’s what I ordered,” Naruto’s sweet voice brought me out of my daydreams.

“Yes, that’s perfect!”

He hummed in response. 

I looked down at the counter… what to say, what to say? My mind was solely crowded with the thoughts of a possible alpha. It had been so long since my first heat, about four years. 

“So… how’s it like having Shukaku back? I know this isn’t really a light conversation or anything, but… it just feels like Kurama is such a big part of my life so Shukaku must be light that for you too, right?”

My head snapped up to meet his eyes. Shukaku. I never did seem understand that tanuki. To sum up our relationship, I think “I fucking hate you but I’m physically stuck to you so I’m going to give you hell until one of us dies” would be a pretty good description. When I lost Shukaku, I certainly had a hard time dealing with the change, the silence, and the worst… the lingering feeling of bloodthirst. Bloodthirst had always been something I’d shoved onto Shukaku, not wanting to shine a light on the real problem: me. I, myself, am bloodthirsty. I believe I knew all along that I was the majority of the problem, but I always blamed things on Shukaku, blamed it on the malfunctioning seal, blamed it on my father. I was never the problem, I considered myself innocent. Waking yourself up from years worth of ignorance… is an experience. 

But, regardless of my selfishness, Shukaku wanted to return. Before, he spent the whole day bitching and moaning about how awful it was to be chained up to a brat. Why would he want to come back?

“Well… not really,” I responded after my lengthy pause, “I made myself a custom seal, one made only for sealing away Shukaku, and preventing him from taking over my body or getting into my head. I’m yet to go talk to him. I don’t know what he’ll say, what he’ll think, or what his opinions will do to me. To be honest, I’m just lost”.

Naruto looked at me with a unexplainable look. 

“G-Gaara…,” he whispered out, “I-I don’t know how to take that…. Kurama and I have developed such a life-changing relationship, and, honestly, Shukaku and Kurama aren’t that different. How could you have not talked to him? …It seems so natural to me…”.

“I guess I see your point. I myself have relied so heavily on second chances, so who am I to refuse to let someone else develop. He may have had a change of heart,” I replied hopefully. I really did feel that way; why else would Shukaku return to me? 

A deep, soft chuckled brought me to face Naruto’s beaming smile, shining brighter than the sun. 

“You amaze me, Gaara. Ya know, most people are far less forgiving than you. They hold grudges, they strive for other people’s failure instead of their own. But you’re just one of the few people I know I can really trust to have my back, ya know? You aren’t fake; 100% pure and real”.

I stared down at the counter, my cheeks warming. I never realized what I thought was rude bluntness was actually an enjoyable trait. I found myself changing part of who I am before I talk to people. To pretend like I have interesting hobbies, or am concerned about others’ meaningless problems. Naruto is… a lifeline from everyone else in the world, who’s too busy worrying about their petty materialistic problems.

“Well, I think that’s just a trait that all notable Kage must have. You have such great empathy, to the extent that it’s contagious. I know you’ll be able to rule with complete understanding of your village’s needs, and rule like no other ever has. You’ll be the reference that all the future Kage will look to. I know it, Naruto,” I said definitely, and meant it from the bottom of my heart.

Naruto was looking down at the scratched wooden counter. His face was covered by his arm, wiping at his face roughly. 

“Naruto?”

He shoved his arm off his face, revealing his watery blue eyes. He sniffled lightly.

“Thank you, Gaara,” he whispered out. His gorgeous eyes met with mine, linking for the first time tonight.  I couldn’t quite tell what he was feeling; he looked… sad, almost. Shaken, speechless, confounded. His eyes momentarily showed his soul, confused, reluctant, pained. I felt unexplainable emotions just looking at him. Was this sympathy? The moment showed no awkwardness, just purity and clarity. But all good things have to die, and our moment was shattered. 

“Two miso chashu pork bowls for our special customers!”

I saw his eyes widen and turn to face the man. His face broke out into a giant smile… but I could still see the same look in his eyes. If I hadn’t just seen it so raw and bare in front of me, I would be able to mistake him from being happy. 

 

\---

 

“Ahhh… that ramen was so good! Ramen’s always the best way to start the day, spend the day, and end the day. Heh, that rhymed”.

I snickered at his ramen infatuation. 

“Well, I have to be getting to work soon. My next meeting’s at two and I still need to get dressed into my robes. And probably shower so I don’t show up at the meeting smelling like ramen. Not very professional”.

“At least they’d know you have good tastes,” Naruto pointed out.

“Or they’d know I’d been with you,” I murmured under my breath.

“Huh”

“What?” I replied innocently.

He groaned lightly.   
“Anyway! When should we meet next? I’ve been looking into some movies. Did you know one of Pervy Sage’s books has a movie out now? Wanna watch that one?”

I blushed lightly. I think watching literal porn in front of Naruto would be a bit too quick for our relationship. 

“N-not my style,” I stuttered out with a slight blush.

“Hmmm… well I’ll figure something out. Are you free Thursday night? Like Thursday in three days, not in ten days”.

“Yes, I am. I really must be going now, though. See you soon,” I said, walking backwards while waving away at Naruto. 

“See ya!”

I turned away from him and started to walk towards my rental home. I was glad he gave me such a long time window, I have a lot to think about.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Gaara's 2nd date... kind of.

   I walked back home in a slight daze. The conversations I had with Naruto gave me whiplash. It was ramen, ramen, ramen, Shukaku, ramen, ramen, ramen, Kurama, ramen, ramen, ramen. It’s enough to make a man’s head hurt. 

   I hastily shoved the key through the keyhole, opening the door and shutting it gently. I let myself collapse against the door, sinking further and further down until I was sitting on the ground. I let out a deep sigh. 

   “So it didn’t go well, I presume?” I jumped hearing Temari’s voice from the across the room. I turned my head slightly to meet her questioning face. 

   “It went… fine. I’m just confused,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “We’ve got another date on Thursday”.

   “Aww Gaara that’s so sweet,” she teased, “Where is it?”

   “At his rented apartment. We’re gonna watch a movie”.

   “Like watch a movie or “watch a movie”,” she asked, emphasizing her final few words.

   “I don’t know what that means,” I responded blankly. She should know that I’m too dumb to be able to figure out her complicated social cues. 

   “Are you going to actually watch a movie or will you two fuck?” 

   I tensed up. “We uh-we’re- um- we’re just gonna,” I stuttered out. God do I wish he meant the latter. “We’re just gonna watch a movie,” I blurted out, near shouting.

   “Hmm… then why are you so defensive?” Temari pointed out with an eyebrow cocked. She had a small smirk on her face, ever growing with every passing second of silence.

   “I- uh- I need to go shower! I have a meeting soon!” I shouted in embarrassment, hurrying away to get ready for the event. 

 

\---

 

   The meeting, like all others, was boring and could have been done in about five minutes had everyone been well prepared coming into the meeting, knowing about the topic before we addressed it. Of course, no one but myself was and I spent three hours informing everyone on how pipelines work. I rubbed my temples lightly and sat down on the bed; it had already been an hour since the meeting and my headache was still going strong. I fully lied down on the bed on my stomach and shoved my face into the pillow. It was around eight, one of the occasional nights that I didn’t have a meeting. With all the events of the day rushing past, my mind drifted to Naruto. He looked nice today; I wonder if he thought the same of me. I liked thinking about Naruto… it made my mind go a little numb. Thinking of him calmed me, like a massage. But unlike other nights, I could feel my body temperature rising, and the growing pressure in my groin at the thought of him. But, most prominently, I could feel slick start to leak in small amounts. 

I pushed up from the bed abruptly, running towards the bathroom. This definitely isn't good; technically, according to my cycle, I should be in heat. Regardless, due to my suppressants, I still shouldn’t be releasing slick. I slid down the bathroom wall, shutting and locking the door behind me. I sighed nervously. I guess I had it coming. The doctor specifically told me that I must have one heat per year, or else my body will either weaken or reject the suppressants, making them useless. I haven’t had a heat since my first one when I was 12 or 13, and the idea of entering another one was horrifying. The pain, the loneliness, the pure need I felt that week was too much for me, and the idea of experiencing it again stresses me out to no end.

   The hot feeling curled up in my stomach, making me wheeze in pain and ball up. I quickly slipped my pants off to avoid dirtying them anymore, then went through the long and delicate process of taking off my clothes. My now sweaty hands pulled at the vest straps, trying to yank them off by force. My long coat was thrown towards the hamper, and my hand shook as I attempted to undo every button on my shirt, tossing it in the same general direction as the coat. This left me in a damp pair of underwear and a small drenched undershirt, both dirtied by hot sweat. I ripped both off, still feeling my body temperature rising and rising. As I ran my hand down my unclothed cock, my first thought was Naruto. His eyes, his smile, his hands. Thoughts of him touching me, running his hands down my stomach, pushing me underneath him. Heat ran through my body quickly, my eyesight getting blurry with lust. I slowly ran my hand towards penis, slowly stroking to relieve some of the sharp pain.

   “Naruto,” I whimpered out quietly

 

\---

 

   My chest felt heavy, tight, dense. Guilt and anxiety ran through my body rapidly. How was I supposed to look Naruto in the eyes? Yes, I have thought about him sexually, but I’ve never acted on it. I’ve never used the thought of him as some type of porn to masturbate to. Was this normal? I felt my chest tighten even more… he’d be disgusted with me.

I held my clammy hands together and tried to find something that would make me feel somewhat better. I looked down at myself and immediately regretted it. There were… fluids… covering my bare chest and my thighs and rectum were both lathered in cold slick. A shower would be nice. In addition, I had Temari bring me my emergency suppressants a while ago, so I’d be safe to take a shower without the risk of falling or passing out… hopefully. I also happened to still be sitting on the cold bathroom floor, defiled by my… activities, but at least I didn’t need to walk from another room. 

I heaved myself from the sick-covered floor (I need to remember to clean that later), and entered the shower slowly. It was a dull but quick process. I used a bit more soap than necessary, hoping that the remainder of my heat-scent would be covered. 

The rest of the day went by in a flash; I got dressed, took some more suppressants, went to a few meetings, it was a normal day. The suppressants also seemed to work pretty well, with a few hiccups here and there, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The last meeting of the day was just finished, and as long as I ask Tsunade a handful of clarifying questions (she always was a bit too vague and dismissive), I’d be able to relax and hopefully find some solution to my problem before Thursday. Two days was more than enough to think about my next meeting with Naruto; I needed to know how to behave, how to treat him, how to talk about more personal things without my mind tensing up. 

A slight wind brushed my shoulder to my left, and a long, green jacked sped up ahead of me. I could clearly see “gamble” written in bold within a red circle on the back.

“Lady Tsunade! May I ask a few questions about your speech during the meeting? Just to make sure there’s no confusion”.

“Oh! Kazekage!” Her eyes darted from the end of the hallway back to my face. “Curse my shitty luck,” she murmured under her breath, gazing down the hallway. Her words were heard loud and clear, but I ignored it. I do try to play nice with the other Kage, even if they don’t. “I apologize, Kazekage. We’re having some problems with one of our shinobi. It’s urgent that I be there soon”. 

“I apologize for the interruption. If there’s anything you’d like me to do, just say so,” I informed her, though she was already walking away before I began speaking. I sighed in annoyance. Tsunade is a good woman; loyal, strong, and experienced. However, … she does tend to be rude to the other leader, but only when something is harming something she cares for. If it were her village, she would have said something during the meeting to maintain trust. I deeply sighed once more. I guess it really isn’t any on my business. Although it’s best to nip problems in the bud, I’d rather not interfere with other village’s problems. I closed my eyes and focused my chakra, allowing my body to dissolve into sand, creating a gentle wind to carry me home. 

 

\---

  
  


   I shivered violently. Although the desert occasionally gets rain, I’ve never experienced it on this scale. The streets were covered in at least an inch of rain, flowing rapidly downhill and into irrigation drains. My feet were soaked; a wave of rainwater managed to get it’s way into my shoe, making my socks swell up with water. My perfectly curled and styled hair was soaked and frizzy, somehow at the same time. I checked my watch one more time, just to make sure I wasn’t wrong. It read 8:17 PM, clearly. Below it, in a blocky font, all capitalized, it read Thursday. I felt anxiety swirl in my stomach. I guess this was my fault; we never did set a time. I really didn’t know what Naruto qualified as “night”. 7:00? 9:00? 10:00? I bit my thumb lightly, a shiver running through my body. I was leaning up against the stone of Naruto’s rented apartment. I manage to get lucky and got the address from Lee. Unfortunately, the only coverage from rain the place had was the window box from the apartment above, which was dripping a stream of dirt-filled water onto my right shoulder. My entire body was vibrating from both nervousness and the cold. I didn’t want to be obsessively knocking on his door; it’s likely he’s not home… maybe he forgot. Or maybe he got busy. He is a very adaptable shinobi who can take pretty much any mission; I wouldn’t be surprised if he got forced into a surprise mission and had no way to tell me. I glanced up, my vision blurred by the rain at the people rushing through the dark, wet streets. Mostly groups of teenagers going out to party or get drunk, though it was hard to tell through the dim streetlight. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the sharp, wet stone and listened to the rain hit the cobblestone streets of Kumo. 

 

\---

 

   The rain was still going strong. My entire body was soaked, head to toe. I really should have gone home hours ago, but I couldn’t leave. Naruto told me he’d be here, and just the idea of seeing his warm smile heats up my drenched body. I knocked lightly on the door for the millionth time. I’ve tried to avoid knocking too frequently, attempting to knock every ten minutes. Though whenever I check my watch, I try to only look at the minutes. It’s hard for me to deal with the fact that I got rejected, to the extent that he’d rather not go home than to see me. I can’t imagine where Naruto would be at… I flinched before checking my watch… 2:46 AM. I looked at my watch in disgust… I, the Kazekage, have been standing outside someone’s apartment for seven hours… in the freezing rain. I must look really desperate. I forced myself to step away, to go home, to do anything, but my body wouldn’t listen. I physically couldn’t leave knowing that I might get to see him, to touch him… anything. I put my face in my hands, wiping the rain that fell down my face. I couldn’t leave, so I just… waited. I knew he wasn’t coming, but there I stayed, waiting.

 

\--- 

 

   “Uh, what the hell are you doing?” 

   I glanced up from my hands, looking for the voice. The sun had not yet come up, and the streetlights were far too dim. Sure, I could use a little jutsu to see, but the voice didn’t malicious. In fact, it sounded familiar.

   “Dude it’s like 4 in the morning… What are you doing here?”

   I glanced up to one of the higher window boxes, a few away from Naruto’s upstairs neighbor’s. A man was crouched on the box, and jumped down, landing on the ground with a grunt. Though his voice wasn’t very recognizable, being just somewhat monotone, his hair was signature. A Nara. 

   “Shikamaru… I could ask the same of you, I guess,” I responded, trying to do anything but answer the question.

   “Huph, I’m surprised you remembered my name”.

   “Of course I do. You beat my sister in the Chunin Exams and now you two are trying to get in each other’s pants,” I saw a bit of his shocked red face in the dim light, “Oh, don’t you act surprised. It’s obvious, even I can tell”.

   “I am not!”

   “Hmmm,” I replied sarcastically.

   His face seemed to flush. “What are you doing here?!” 

   I sighed. “Naruto was supposed to meet me here, hours ago. What about you?”

   “And you’re still here?” he asked in a surprised tone.

   “Yes, I suppose I am. Why are you here?” I asked, putting more emphasis on the last sentence.

   “Naruto’s been hospitalized, he’s been acting insane. He’s attacked nine people right now. There’s no other explanation than the nine-tails”.

   Anxiety built in my chest, followed by anger. Naruto would never hurt people willingly, there must be something wrong with him. The Naruto I know has always gone out of his way to protect anyone and everyone, including his enemies. There’s no way that it’s his doing… but it can’t be Kurama’s either. Kurama and Naruto formed a perfect connection throughout the war, and there’s no way that the beast could have faked it. The jutsu that the two of them did together was too perfect for Kurama to still have built up resentment towards Naruto. My stomach churned with anxiety, my head swarming. Naruto just won the war for us… why would anyone want to hurt him now? I stared with wide eyes at his figure. “Kurama? No… that’s not possible. They have a good relationship, there's no way”.

   “Maybe the nine-tails was faking it, who knows. All we know is Naruto is fucked up and we need to do something about it”. He paused for a moment, his figure turning towards me. “Are you good with seals?”

   “Yes. But I’m not an Uzumaki if that’s what you’re asking. It is possible for someone to have red hair without being an Uzumaki. But if this is really about Kurama, I’d be the worst person to ask; I got all my skills from Shukaku”. 

   “Shukaku?” Shikamaru questioned.

   “The one-tail. He and Kurama hate one another, always have. But Shukaku’s whole gimmick (other than sand) is seals,” I rushed through the sentence, starting to get impatient. The Kurama vs Shukaku rivalry is as old as time. Out of all the times Shikamaru could have asked me about the tanuki, now was by far the worst. 

   “Okay… well, we should still have you check him out. Then we could confirm if it’s the nine-tails’ doing or not”.

   I nodded in agreement. “Lead the way”. 

   He glanced at me. “How about you go back to your apartment and get dressed first, you’re soaked. You can meet me back here”.

   I breathed in to voice my complaints.

   “No. It’s fine. I’ve got a key and I have to look his place over anyway… go,” he said, pulling out a key.

   I shook my head and began to sprint back to my apartment. Adrenaline ran through me rapidly… Naruto needed me, and I was putting my own comfort in front of his. I grit my teeth and kept going, thinking about all the possible things that could be going wrong with Naruto. 

 

\---

 

   My hands shook violently. Used both my hands to hold the small key, hoping that it would steady my shaking hands. I continued to miss the keyhole, over and over, hearing nothing but the sound of metal scraping metal. My frustrations grew and grew; Naruto was waiting on me, I didn’t have time for this. I heard a sound from inside and stepped back in surprise. The door swung open, revealing the dark inside of the apartment.

   “Gaara what the fuck? Are you wet? Where have you been?” Baki’s tired voice still managed to sound angry and concerned. 

   “O-oh, y-you’r-re he-here,” I stuttered out through chattering teeth, walking into the apartment and heading towards my shared bedroom.

   “Gaara get back here. Where have you been”. He reached over and grabbed my hand, halting me.

   “Goddamn, your hand is cold. What were you doing?”

   “I-I was wa-waiting on a friend”.

   “They didn’t show up?”

   “N-no. But I need t-to leave. Someone's-waiting on me,” I replied impatiently, trying to reach the bedroom. I heard Baki let out a hefty sigh from behind me. 

   “Grab an umbrella before you leave; I ain’t taking care of you when you get sick,” he called back from across the room. 

   I nodded lightly and crept into my shared bedroom. Even with the door closed, I could hear the heavy snored of my older brother. I quietly opened the door and grabbed some clothes out of one of the drawers. They were pretty basic clothes, black pants, and a black t-shirt. I snook back out of the room, shutting the door lightly behind me and headed towards the restroom. I ripped off my old clothes and shoved them near the hamper, then threw my new clothes on and headed towards the front door, grabbing an umbrella on the way.

   “Okay, bye Baki,” I whispered to him, who was now fully awake and watching T.V. quietly. I reached for the door but was stopped by Baki’s voice.

   “My God kid, do you want to get sick? At least wear a hoodie,” he critiqued.

   As much as I love Baki, the thought of Naruto having to endure any more pain because of me was putting me on edge. I really needed to leave, and quickly.

   “I don’t own a sweatshirt. Anyway, I really need to go. Bye Baki,” I said, and turned away to open the door. As I began to leave the room, something hit my back. 

   “Wear it”.

   I took the fabric off my back. It was a large, oversized, purple sweatshirt that read “puppet’s society” in big, black letters in the middle. I sighed, and put Kankuro’s sweatshirt on, feeling the hem end near my knees. I’m sure that it looked very childish, but I wasn’t in a situation where I could waste time. I closed the door, locking it behind me, and ran down the hall, back to Shikamaru… back to Naruto. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil cliffhanger for y'all


	5. V

From the moment I left the home, I ran and ran and ran, thoughts of Naruto flying through my mind. The weight of the sky was pressing down upon my shoulders, making my running sluggish, but I pursued. My exhaustion, fatigue, stress, anxiety… it could wait. Nothing was worth anything in comparison to my Naruto. All the gold and silver in the world was worth fractions of a penny next to my Naruto’s smile. The weight pressed harder and harder, my eyebrows pinching closer and closer together. But I pushed, I pushed and pushed and pushed until I was crushed under the weight of the sky. I struggled and fought and tried to move on, but nothing could stop the dark clouds that forced me into my prison. The clouds were nothing like what people fantasize about, not soft, nor dreamy, nor warm. They froze me, drenched me, and brought all the bad dreams back. The rain fell and fell and fell, filling up my cage in mere seconds. I gasped for breath before it completely conquered the air. This was no place for me. 

  
  


\---

  
  


“Nice sweatshirt,” a monotone voice broke through the tense air. He spoke with a hint of amusement in his voice, but all it did was pour fuel into the fire that was agitation. My head felt hot, yet numb at the same time and I could feel my chest grow hot; my patience was getting tested. 

I whipped towards the voice, the corners of my eyesight turning white with rage, seeing the wide eyes of a man holding his hands up to me to surrender. His feet shuffled backward, his head lowering to avoid eye contact. A deep snarl erupted from my lips, breaking through the silence of the night. Oh, the look on that man’s face… so intricate. His once small eyes seemed to take up the majority of his face, the rest being taken up by his gaping mouth. But looking into those eyes… it was like looking at a dim street light through thick fog. A flicker of light through those eyes, screaming to move, to run, to save yourself. What a familiar sight… I’ve seen in so many. It’s the most common response when staring into the eyes of a beast, the eyes of a monster. To avert your eyes, to show you mean no harm… but that just “bear avoidance 101”, they know nothing about a monster like me. I’ve dreamed of murder, the scent of blood, the scent of bodies; the war could only calm the beast in me for so long before he’s be roaring to come back out. 

My body moved forward, towards the pitiful man. What would his blood look like shed onto this road? Would he even be recognizable after I’m done with him? Hmmm… no, I think I’m going to go all out on him, I really have missed this. I’ve missed the rush, the heat, feeling that I will never die… oh, how sweet it is to feel again! I stumbled towards the man like a drunk, bloodthirst being my alcohol. Just a few more steps before sweet, sweet euphoria. I reached a hand out towards that bobbing throat… frozen. My body was frozen, unable to move as an icy shadow traveled down my arm, engulfing me in darkness. A cackle was released from my throat… this foolish man. I can raise a tsunami of sand with a simple wave of my hand; I’ve killed men by sheer will alone. Even if I can’t move, my sand surely can. My high pitched laughter broke through the silent night like a bullet through glass; it echoed down the endless streets, the laughter sounding like it was coming from all directions. A particularly loud laugh erupted from me as I willed a wall of sand to crash upon the trembling man in front of me. I laughed harder, hearing the strangled groans of the man, but no sand was heard, no rustling, no whoosh from the sand… nothing. My blood rushed in my ears, forcing my chakra to release into my sand, to stop the fast wheezing coming from the man… but nothing happened. The familiar feeling of heat erupting outwards from my body didn’t happen… my chakra wasn’t responding to me. I let out a feral growl, my hands beginning to burn towards the nails, my teeth felt as if they were getting ripped out. Wet liquids dripped from my chin, my eyes showing the truth. As if a giant light bulb appeared in the sky, everything became visible. The man in front of me became identifiable.

“Shikamaru,” the name was emitted as a soft groan, coming deep from inside of me. The voice was familiar, it was the muffled voice I heard every day. 

“Good grief, what’s going on here?” A tired voice came from behind me.

“Kakashi-sensei!” The boy, Shikamaru (apparently), called from in front of me. The voice was filled with relief. Foolish, he hasn’t gotten away yet. The binds were removed from my body, the icy hand releasing from my arm. I moved towards the young boy in front of me, but I couldn’t move. I wildly looked down… the shadow had disappeared, I was not bound anymore. A pulling feeling yanked at my stomach as if I were being pulled into a black hole. I struggled and protested, my body collapsing onto the firm ground, the suction feeling continuing, yanking me in. I couldn’t breathe, the feeling of a sharp collar digging into my neck, forcing me to submit. The remainder of a long growl stuck in my throat as I was dragged lower and lower, forced into a small cage, before my eyes went dark and everything went back to normal. I was imprisoned once more, the muffling sounds beginning again. I’m sure those sounds must be words, but they are much too far away to be comprehensible. A long, defeated sigh came from my compressed lips.

“That damn fox… why should I have listened to you? All humans truly are the same”.

  
  


\---

  
  


All I could hear was white noise. Extremely loud white noise, to be specific. The sleeves and knees of my fresh outfit felt wet… why was I lying on the ground? My body felt worn, like it was dragged through the mud for a few miles, or that I hadn’t eaten in a few days… maybe even a combination of both. My seal hurt worst of all… it throbbed like a burn and felt stretched like a rubber band. A groan was released from my battered lips as muffled noise started to become words.

“H-how did you do that?!” Shikamaru voice, shrill with horror sounded.

“I didn’t do a thing. He did that by himself,” a new voice came from behind me and was much deeper and more expressive. 

I groaned again. “Can someone tell me what just happened?” My voice was muffled as I spoke, but surely loud enough that both the men could hear it clearly.

“Yeah, I was about to ask you the same thing; WHAT THE FUCK!” The normally calm man’s voice erupted in front of me. Guilt built up in my chest as I slowly looked up and could make out his pale face slowly turning red with anger. 

The remnants of a horrified look on his face… and the burning of where my seal is… no. How could Shukaku take over me? I completely re-did my seal, fixing any errors and replacing unneeded parts; the seal is flawless. How could he escape? Did my heat really weaken me that much? Or was it the thoughts of Naruto? I stood up slowly on shaky legs, heaving myself from the damp ground. I glanced around… no damage, no sand. It seems Shukaku didn’t manage to do anything this time around. I glanced up at the dark, cloudy sky and shivered. At least it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Shikamaru! Good grief, you can yell at him all you want later! The sun’s just about to rise and I’d prefer that no nasty rumors get spread about Konoha and Suna conflicts,” the man voiced, stepping between the two of us, “Gaara, I’m sure he’ll fill you in on all that happened later, but for now, we need to leave”. I looked at the familiar man. He was wearing a Konoha vest and a leaf forehead protector with cold grey hair sticking out. The only strange thing was the mask. The last time I had seen this shinobi, Kakashi of the Leaf to be specific, he had his mask covering his left eye, which is now new and untouched. Interesting. 

Kakashi turned on his heels and signaled for us to follow. I kept my head down, avoiding Shikamaru’s fierce eyes that were prodding into my head. The only sounds that could be heard were our shoes hitting the puddles on the ground, and Shikamaru’s heavy breathing. Slowly, rays of brilliant light broke through the darkness as a new dawn came, and by the time we had arrived at our location, the sun had fully risen. The streets, that were silent and dead not 30 minutes ago, were lively and packed, filled with the sounds of “good morning”s and “good to see you”s. I glanced at the lively street once more before I entered the dark building, the warmth and life leaving as the door slammed behind me. 

It took a moment or two for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The long hallway had dim, yellow lights lining it. The walls were a dirty navy blue. As I shuffled down the hallway, I stuck a hand out to touch the wall. On my finger, there was at least a century worth of dust. I shuttered. This entire building shouted “grimy”. I couldn’t imagine working here.

“Um… may I ask why we’re here?”

“No,” Shikamaru’s voice quickly but bluntly replied. Kakashi voiced a deep sigh.

“Naruto’s here. He’s staying here until we can figure out what’s wrong with him. This place specializes in the mentally ill,” Kakashi helpfully replied.

“There’s a few rooms open towards the end, think we should throw Gaara in one of those?” Shikamaru asked Kakashi, blatantly ignoring me.

“I’m right here,” I reminded him.

Kakashi rubbed his temples and said nothing more. As we walked down the hallway, we started to be able to see the rooms. The first one held a man in a straightjacket who was chained to his bench. He seemed to pay us no attention. The next room held a young woman with light brown hair who sat on her bench in tears. Was Naruto in this much misery? Was his condition so dreadful he had to be locked up? I grabbed my throbbing heart lightly.

“Can they see us?” I asked anxiously, looking for Naruto. 

“No, it’s one-way glass,” Kakashi replied again, “Naruto’s room is up here”.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to have the one-tail and the nine-tails so close to one another after both Gaara and Naruto have been bad at controlling them lately? This seems like a recipe for disaster if you ask me,” Shikamaru reasoned from beside me. I had a sudden urge to punch him in the neck, but managed to suppress it and say:

“I don’t know what that was, Shikamaru. I’ve never done anything violent like that in years”. My anxiety grew with his words because I knew he was right. If any of this had been going on with anyone else, this would be a no-brainer. It’s unsafe, it’s too dangerous. But,… a man's got to be biased sometimes, right? I mean, all the council members get away with it all the time!

“Yeah and Naruto hasn’t been like that, ever,” he responded, “Something’s getting you two fucked up”.

I hummed in agreement. I didn’t want to have to manipulate him into letting me see Naruto, but I was ready if it called for it. At the moment, it didn’t really seem like a problem. What was the most prominent worry of mine was that Naruto was in danger due to something else, other than the nine-tails. Regardless, I could still see Shikamaru’s point; something is up. “Have you checked in with the Raikage and Bee? They know a lot more than we do”.

“We already have. Lord Raikage said he’s never seen such a thing happen, and so did Bee,” Kakashi cut in to answer, “And, Shikamaru, I don’t think it’s a great idea, but Naruto’s been asking for Gaara for days, there’s no way they’d hurt each other”.

“Oh yes Gaara’s so completely harmless,” Shikamaru mumbles sarcastically under his breath. I closed my eyes and shook my head, but said nothing else to the passive-aggressive man. He has put up with a lot of my shit. On the other hand, he’s probably fucking my sister, but I’ll get back to that later. Now might be a bad time to pick at him. I glanced over at the man and saw a giant, child-like pout on his face. I looked away and focused on a part of the floor. This was… awkward. 

Footsteps broke through the silent tension.

“Over here,” Kakashi signaled to an empty room, “Just you, Gaara. Shikamaru, could you go talk to Lady Tsunade about what you found in Naruto’s apartment?”

“Yeah. Hey Gaara, try not to attack Kakashi, okay?” Shikamaru asked with an agitated tone, but I could see a small smile on his face as he walked away. 

“Good grief, that kid. He’s not normally like this,” Kakashi informed me as we entered the room, allowing me to shut the door after. 

“I assumed so. I’m sure Temari would have killed him by now if this was his norm,” I responded.

“Good to know you’re not oblivious about that,” Kakashi teased.

“I’m not, but Kankuro is,” I responded back after a pause, trying to take in the room. It held the same mood as the rest of the place, dark and depressing, but it was far cleaner. Kakashi lead me to a small, wooden table that could seat six, sitting in the center of the room. He sat at the head of the table, and put his face in his hands, letting out a deep sigh. The man looked worried. Thoughts of Naruto swirled in my head… it couldn’t be that bad, right? Naruto’s never been one for violence, so how could he have attacked people, as Shikamaru said?

“How bad is it?” I asked, taking the seat next to him on the left. My anxiety had been bothering me all day, both about the freak accident that happened and about my constant worry for Naruto.

“How bad is what?”

“Everything”.

“I’ve got so much shit going on. You’re going to need to be more specific”

“How about we start with what happened between Shikamaru and I. Who notified you to come? What was I doing? At this point, I’ve just guessed that Shukaku took over, but I don’t know any specifics,” I replied to him, my voice dangerously teetering upon a whine.

“I heard loud growling and by the time I got there, you had started to transform. Your teeth, eyes, nails… they were all the one-tail’s. Shikamaru held you off from killing him but… I think you did the majority of it. Your sand wouldn’t reply to the tanuki, only to you. I have to say you've made great progress with calming your tailed beast. You tamed him, completely by yourself,” Kakashi voiced, and my stomach fluttered with the compliment. It wasn’t very often that I get compliments for such strong shinobi, mostly insults or glares. 

“O-oh… thank you,” I stuttered out.

“And I know you want to figure out what’s going on with Naruto, but we really don’t know. We think it has something to do with Kurama, but not in the normal way,” he made eye contact with me, his black eyes intensely meeting mine. As I stared into them, I realized it was the first time I had really looked at his left eye. “I’m trusting you, Gaara, with information even though you’re from a different country. Can you handle it my trust?”.

I nodded at him, the mood suddenly far more serious.

“Lady Tsunade believed that Kurama has made him begin to emit pheromones that make him far more controlling. I believe it’s called… alpha? Yes, that sounds right. Have you heard of it?”

I stared at him, mouth agape. Naruto really was an alpha… my alpha.

“Y-yes! I have heard of it. In fact…, I happen to have the same problem. It’s caused due to receiving a tailed beast at a young age, or at least that’s what we’ve attributed it to. But, I’m… kind of… not an alpha. I’m… the other one,” I replied awkwardly. 

“Omega?”

“... yes,” I replied, squirming.

“So that’s why he’s been asking for you, huh. May I ask if you two are dating?”

My face heated up; I’m sure that my red hair and face both matched. 

“W-we’re n-not… well, I mean… ummm… I don’t know…,” I replied nervously. This was definitely an awkward conversation to be having with Naruto’s sensei, a man I’ve met… four times? His intense eyes didn’t help in the matter, either. 

A gentle chuckle came from the man across from me. “I’ll talk to Tsunade, see if you two can talk for a little bit. Oh and by “talk” I mean talk, don’t get any ideas,” he joked as he stood up, “I’m sorry to say this but you need to stay here for a bit. I know you’re probably dying to see him”. He shot a gentle smile through his mask and left the room, closing the door behind him with a click. 

  
  


\---

  
  


As Kakashi walked in, all my anxiety was released with a shaky sigh. 

“Will she allow me to see him?”

“Yes, but… with all due respect, I don’t know if you are. He’s being incredibly violent with all the nurses and doctors. Tsunade thinks that he’ll try to… ‘take advantage of you’ if you will. Tsunade guessed that you may also be weak in front of him if you’re close or on you something cycle. And that he can smell it apparently. I forget what the word was… hot cycle?” He looked at me in a questioning manner.

“Ummm… heat. But I don’t think Naruto will try to do anything like that… he would never”.

“Yes, and I never thought I’d see him viciously attack any nurse or doctor, but he did. We don’t know how he’ll behave, Gaara, we have no idea,” he paused, rubbing his eyes, “So, are you close to your heat cycle?”

“I’m on it now, but I use strong suppressants. He shouldn’t be able to smell me at all,” I replied.

“Can you smell him?”

“I-I don’t know. We’re the only two of our kind, that we know of. I think we can… I think I could smell him the other day when we got ramen together, though I couldn’t tell over the food”.

Kakashi closed his eyes in contemplation.

“What’s your call, Gaara? What would you do?”

“Me?” I paused, “Well,… I’m going to be biased when saying this, but I think I should see him. I just… want to help”.

He hummed.  

“I don’t know. I just can’t relate to this; it makes it harder to make logical decisions,” his head was tilted downwards. He looked exhausted, with small bruises under his dark eyes and deep wrinkles in between his eyebrows from worry. He let out a long, length sigh. “Go see him, Gaara. Just be careful and keep in mind that people can see you”.

I nodded in reply and abruptly stood up once I was given his approval. As I exited the room and walked further down the hall, I was grateful that he mentioned that we could be seen, it would save a lot of embarrassment down the line. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cliffhanger continues


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara and Naruto finally meet. Things do not go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should have been out sooooo long ago! Forgive me!

“What’s that brat doing here?”

Oh boy, what a great thing to hear the moment you enter a room. I glared in the direction of the gravelly voice. He was a middle-aged man who probably hadn’t slept in the last two weeks. Now that I mention it, it looks that not a single person seemed to be in good health. Eyes were baggy, hands were fidgeting; the room itself was holding its breath. My chest tightened as I submerged further in, the tense air making it harder to breathe. I was suffocating just being in the room. But none of that matters. All that matters is getting to Naruto.

“I’m here to speak with Naruto. Lady Tsunade gave me permission to do so,” I stated confidently, regardless of what I was wearing.

He eyed me up and down, at my oversized, dirty sweatshirt and huffed out a laugh. What an asshole.

“I’ll go grab her, just to check,” he responded condescendingly with a blatantly fake smile. He struts out of the room, and immediately all eyes were on me. They all looked tired but aggressive. The tension in the air made me shiver; it was apparent that I was not welcome here. A muffled woman’s voice broke through the dead silence. It grew closer and closer, the sound of high heels clicking joining in. Tsunade walked into the room with confidence, but her eyes showed her worry. She looked me up and down as she entered, a little confused by my filthy clothes. I cringed lightly; I try my damndest to look presentable, especially because I represent my nation wherever I go, but, alas, it could wait.

“Kazekage! A word, please?” She asked politely. I was taken a little off guard; I assume she was putting on a show for the others in the room, whose tired eyes sharply darted from her to me, like a tennis match. Tsunade turned and started walking away without my response.

“Right” I replied hoarsely, following suit. She led me down the hallway, where the doors started getting further and further apart, and the air got thicker and thicker.

“He’s down here if you’re wondering,” her voice spoke out, tight with anxiety, “They’re keeping in the same place we send criminals”.

Anger built in my chest, imagining him seen on the same level as a criminal. Naruto, the war hero, who saved everyone and tamed the nine-tails. I clenched my teeth; arguing with Tsunade would do nothing because, judging from her expression, she had no say in the matter. According to Naruto, she sees him as a son and believes his safety is the number one concern. It was hard to imagine Tsunade rooting against Naruto.

“And who made that call?” I questioned, keeping my voice steady.

“No one wanted it to happen, but it was just what we needed to do to maintain the safety of the people and the peace of our nations,” she replied stiffly.

“That sounds scripted,” I murmured under my breath.

She let out a soft chuckle. “Are you always this much of a smart-ass?”

“Actually I tone it down when I’m around fellow kage”.

“I pity those on your council,” she replied smartly. A lengthy pause reminded me of the tense situation. My anxiety grew as Tsunade led us to a door.

“The elders made the decision. I doubt you can imagine how much I bitched with them. Must have been hours. They finally said fuck it and sent me in to see him. It was absolutely awful. He seemed like he was in pain and confused, and when people came near he attacked. The elder said that he was just violent, and I couldn’t convince them otherwise. It was either here or in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trigger-happy guards. I managed to get a few tests in and I believe you know what I found out, correct?”

I nodded in response. Kakashi told me that she found out he emitted pheromones, alpha pheromones to be exact.

“What’s your… “situation” like?” she asked, her hand on the doorknob.

I looked at her in confusion… “situation”?

“Are you… hot?” she asked, glancing around. It was obvious that we were going to be overheard, so we’d have to be subtle about what we’re saying, but… I’ve never been the best with reading other people or social cues. I ran the question through my head, over and over. Hot? I’m a little warm, probably because of how humid it is and being in the heat but that… oh.

My head shot up and I locked eyes with her. “Yes I am hot,” I replied, feeling proud of myself for being able to figure out what she meant. I know this sort of thing is elementary, but it’s better than how I was when I was 12 in the chunin exams; simple things like puns went straight over my head back then.

“Okay,” she took a moment to think, “You’ll have to be very careful around him. We don’t know how he’ll react around people”.

I nodded in response. I’d have to keep her warning in mind, but I’ll also have to worry about losing my own compulsory. I’ve been lusting for an alpha since I was twelve or thirteen, to finally be meeting on at 16… I have a lot of unrequited desires.

Tsunade opened the door slowly and greeted a man inside. The room was dark, with a large cement wall covered my multiple computer screens all showing the same thing: a brightly it, white room with one contrast, Naruto. Or at least from what I can tell. The bright yellow hair and tan skin stood out starkly from his white gown and the walls.

“Lady Tsunade! And Lord Kazekage! Will you be needing to see Naruto?”

“Yes. May I ask you to step out for a few minutes? We’d like to try to talk with him briefly”.

The man looked shocked. “Y-yes ma’am! When should I return?”

“Ten minutes”.

The man agreed, bowed at both of us and left. I turned to Tsunade and raised my nonexistent eyebrows.

“So, be honest, why am I allowed in here?” I asked her.

“Because I think your presence will calm him. From what I’ve heard, I believe Naruto is seeking an omega. So, if we put you, an omega, near him, it will calm him down enough that he can go out in public and be released from this hell,” she replied, turning towards Naruto. He looked pitiful. He must have lost ten pounds and was curled up in the corner shaking. I wasn’t quite sure if he was awake or not, but his eyes were clearly open, just very foggy.

“What about what Kakashi said, about him maybe… taking advantage of me?”

She sighed. “I just can’t imagine him doing that. And he hasn’t been sexually attracted to anyone who has come in here, including Sakura. He’s just been a bit more violent towards those who approach him. But, just in case, I’ll be watching to make sure he doesn’t try to pull anything with you, in case you can’t handle the situation yourself”.

I sighed lightly. Anxiety was building in my chest; I knew that I wanted Naruto to be an alpha or, more specifically, my alpha, but… this all felt wrong. To practically confess in front of another Kage in a mental asylum was not the way I’ve always imagined this happening. Maybe a fancy dinner during sunset when we’re alone, not this. But time won’t slow down for me, I guess. It was now or never. And if everything goes well, I’ll help Naruto and get a mate at the same time. If it doesn't my relationship with Naruto and Tsunade will never be the same, but that isn’t something I should worry about. Right?

I covered my face with my hands and rubbed at my tired eyes. Why should I second guess myself? I need to be confident and keep my composure and everything will go smoothly. In theory.

“Whenever you’re ready… Gaara,” Tsunade spoke softly to me, much like the way she speaks to Naruto. Strangely, I’ve never heard her say my name. Since the end of the war, I’ve noticed that she and the Tsuchikage have become mentors for me. They both have been increasingly patient with me, and have taken the time to explain the common social cues shown by daimyos and officials that I often miss. But Tsunade has done so much more; sure, she acts impatient and rudely towards me, but in many ways, she has become the mother I never had. She’s given me tips on dealing with insomnia and stress that sounded like criticism at first until I really thought them through.

The pressure lay on my back like boulders, crushing me towards the Earth, but I pursued. I can’t let down Naruto or Tsunade. Not after all they’ve done for me.

“I’m ready now,” I lifted my head from my hands and spoke confidently. Tsunade nodded and walked over to the door to lead me in. There were two doors, separated by a small hallway with a sign that read “Only one door may be opened at a time. Shut the door immediately after entry or exit”. I stepped up to the second door and heard the latch of the first door clicked shut. Just beyond this door was Naruto. I couldn’t sense his chakra nor his pheromones, but the anxiety of being near him was still there. Just beyond this door…

I turned the handle quickly and pushed the door forward. All I saw as I enter the room was white. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the intense light. I turned slightly, and saw him… Naruto. We locked eyes, his brilliant blue eyes meeting mine. It was complete silence for a second. Then another. Until the shit hit the fan when Naruto emitted a strong wave of pheromones that made my knees weak, my body instinctively releasing receptive pheromones back. My knees buckled and I sunk down into a weak heap and looked to Naruto. I couldn’t breathe, the smell of pheromones was too heavy in the room. And, my god, did he smell good. His eyes were wide and dilated, his body struggling against his chains to reach me. He smelled aroused and ripe, making my hole quiver. Slick drenched the insides of my thighs as I watched Naruto, looking strong and determined, struggle to break his chains. A powerful aura emitted from him, static electricity filling the room. A red glow surrounded him, with waves of unfamiliar chakra rippling across the small room.

I gasp in, suddenly recognizing the chakra: Kurama. Adrenaline rushed through me. Yes, I was ridiculously turned on and it would have been so easy to roll over and let him use me but… no. People’s lives were in danger if Naruto chooses to use the power of a tailed beast. This facility wasn’t miles away from the village, it was in it. If he fully transforms into Kurama… peace would be threatened. Naruto would be seen as a monster, and all the peace treaties would be weakened, especially if Tsunade or I were to be injured or killed. I watched Naruto, covered in blazing red chakra, break through the metal chains and pounce. He went straight for me, hitting me with the impact of a truck. He grasped my hair tightly and pulled me down under him. He humped my leg, my ass (I’d die before admitting that I liked it), his pheromones going wild.  I was honey, but I wasn’t blind enough to let him do what he wants. My sand shield broke off me, collecting itself into a wall of sand and pushing Naruto off me before restraining him. Fuck, I felt weak. I could barely control my sand properly. It took twice as much effort as it should. The door burst open as I started to lose consciousness. The last thing I heard was a loud bang and a hiss.

  


\---

  


I groaned loudly. Everything aches; my stomach, my head,... my ass. My thighs felt wet, too. I was in the strongest part of my heat.

“That was quite the stunt you two pulled,” a familiar voice spoke from across the room. Their voice was muffled, my migraine not doing much to help, but I could still identify who it was. I was with her in thousands of meetings, conferences, and even in battle: Tsunade.

“What are you talking about?” I groaned out. I tried sitting up… bad idea. I got light headed immediately, the edges of my vision going white with pain. How was it that I could feel so numb yet so excruciatingly painful? I gasp in heavily, surprised at how much pain I felt doing such a minute task. I collapsed back into the bed, the… disgustingly wet bed. God, I must have sweat so much. My shirt was damp, my face drenched. My body was burning. It was like… I was twelve again, lying hopelessly alone in bed again. My heat hit hard, regardless of the suppressants.

“You and Naruto,” my body tingles when I heard his name. Naruto, my gorgeous alpha. I can remember his scent, the masculine smell of leaves during fall. Very natural but heavy. Oh, just thinking of him made me shiver. “It was a bad idea on my part. I should have guessed that, despite you being rather level headed, the pheromones would control you. In retrospect, I’m grateful that it went as smoothly as it did. It could have been worse”.

Some part of my mind recognized what she was talking about. Naruto broke out of his chains to come for me. I shifted uncomfortably as slick dripped down my thighs just thinking about it. It was hot, he broke through steel chains to touch me, to dominate me. But still, I can recognize that that was all Naruto. No nine-tails. Naruto was completely at the justice of his hormones, not that I was much better.

“No, I was partially at fault. I overestimated the strength of my suppressants. I thought I would be just fine because I was on suppressants, but… look at how that worked out,” I told her, gesturing at my current state. Guilt built in my throat; I was ashamed. I look pitiful.

Tsunade nodded and remained silent.

“Do you know what happened after I passed out?” I asked, avoiding eye contact.

“You held him for a while with that sand, long enough for me to get a tranquilizer. As I got into the room, the sand started to fall apart and he pounced on you. But, it wasn’t like the fuck-feast before. He seemed rather worried about you. We still tranquilized him, though, just to be safe. It took four or five before he passed out”.

I sighed. I felt completely useless. I should have done something more to help restrain him. I was in the room, I should have kept him in my grasp until he was fully knocked out. I wallowed in self-pity for a few seconds until I was interrupted by Tsunade.

“Do you have any idea what happened?” she asked, glancing at me quickly.

“I know that wasn’t caused by his tailed beast,” I said right away. That was obvious enough to me. I didn’t feel any of his chakra until Naruto tried using it to break the chains. Instead, it must have been related to his pheromones, right? “I believe that he is in a rut. He smelled way stronger and was far more aggressive, especially with me. It would make sense,” I replied.

“Uh sorry, but I don’t know what a rut is. We just found out he emitted pheromones a few days ago,” she informed me.

“It’s basically a male heat, but instead of getting weak, they get stronger and more aggressive. Basically, it’s a week-long period where he tried to fight for an omega. But, there are no alphas to fight and I’m the only omega. I was in heat the last time we talked; I may have triggered his rut. That was probably why he wanted to… be with me so badly last time we were together”.

“So he’s trying to… fuck you?” she asked, a skeptical look grew on her face.

“Yes, summarized”.

She shot me a look of absolute horror.

  


\---

  


I left a few hours later, with Tsunade giving me an okay and a recommendation to stay in bed for a few days (which I will not be taking). Instead, I decided it would just be better to ignore everything. Why worry about my heat when I can worry about paperwork? At least I’m being productive, right? Temari was a little concerned about it, however. She thought that something could happen related to my heat, as it has suddenly gotten stronger and weaker at random, so she had me stay at home to do my work. I was grateful for all that she did, like bringing me my work and making me food (even if it was burned). But Naruto still lingered on my mind. How was he doing? Would he still like me? Have we completely ruined our relationship, or did we just start a brand new one? I felt stressed in every way. Occasional talks with Temari did help, but all that came out of them were “just wait, I’m sure Naruto will still like you”. Not too promising. I held my head in my hand, and glared at my work; I knew how to do it, it was just that I didn’t want to. I felt burned out, overworked, but if I stopped working, I started thinking. I rubbed my temples firmly. It was moments like these where I wish I could just vanish, disappear and come back and have things be solved. But, of course, that’s not how the world works.

_Knock, knock, knock_

“H-hey Temari. C-can I speak to Gaara? Privately?” My heart stopped when I heard his muffled voice… Naruto.

 


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara and Naruto have a long overdue talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow two chapters in one week?

I was suffocating; it was like a swallowed a ball expanded and expanded, killing me from the inside out. The anxiety was too much for me. What is he doing here? Not seven hours ago did he try jumping on me, why is he here? To apologize? Or to do it again? At least I was prepared this time around, or at least knew what was going to happen. I know his pheromones are going to drive me insane, but will just knowing that allow me to control myself when I see him? I doubt it. 

“Gaara!” Temari’s shouted from across the apartment. Panic jolted through me… I’m not ready; I don’t know what to say, fuck I don’t know how to act. Should I be offended, harsh, and shut him out? No, I can’t do that. When I was insane he didn’t avoid me, I can’t ignore him when he’s done so much less. Maybe forgiving, try for a hug? Or will that make me seem easy? I don’t want to play hard to get, it should be me seeking him, not the other way around. But-

“Naruto’s here! He wants to talk to you!” Temari finished. Oh, I have no time. She’ll definitely think it’s weird that I’m not hurrying out there as I always do (damn, I must seem desperate). I played with my hand anxiously, pacing back and forth but not advancing towards my closed door. Maybe I should act reserved, but forgiving. Are those things opposites? I don’t want to confuse him, but I can’t act sleazy, I am still a virgin.

“Gaara! Hurry up!” Temari yelled impatiently. I breathed deeply and hurried out of the bedroom, down the hall and into the entrance. As I entered the room, I kept my eyes on Temari, wide and fearful. She shot back a look of confusion; I’m never like this with him, and Temari, not being blind, immediately recognizes this. 

“H-hey Gaara. C-can we talk?” Naruto’s rich voice felt soft and smooth, like butter. My face heated up, and I glanced down. I breathed in to speak but got caught and closed my mouth. My face heated up more; I could feel their eyes bore into me, inspecting me thoroughly. Naruto’s heavy footsteps grew closer to me, and I could begin to smell his pheromones. I started to shake uncontrollably. Temari’s soft, light footsteps got closer to me as well. 

“Go stand outside,” she murmured aggressively. Her soft hand landed gently on the back of my neck, pulling me forwards into her arms. Her hand moved up into my hair, stroking it gently.

“What in the hell did he do? What aren’t you telling me, Gaara?” she asked, her tone not matching her actions. It was harsh and demanding, but her hand in my hair was still soft and comforting. 

“Temari I can’t-” I started. 

“Don’t give me that bullshit, yes you can,” she interrupted me. 

“He’s… he’s an alpha,” I whispered to her. She knew what it meant. During my heats, I get ridiculously emotional, even if I’m on suppressants. It was usually the main reason why I’d be upset; I don’t have an alpha. Now, I look back on it and cringe. I just came across desperate and needy, but she helped me through it. 

“I-I don’t understand. Isn’t that a good thing? You want an alpha?” she asked me. 

“I-I-” I grit my teeth firmly as tears started to well. Fuck, not again. Even though I am in heat, it’s no excuse for defaming the title of Kazekage. I wiped my face quickly, doing my best to hide my face, though my breathing gave it away. 

“Gaara?” her voice was soft and questioning.

I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I sobbed into her chest and stuttered out the story, all of it. 

  
  


\---

  
  


“Stay here,” Temari demanded, leaving me in a ball on the coach. 

“Wait! Where are you going? Please, stay,” I begged, shoulders still shaking. 

“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, not that he’s saved mankind? I think the fuck not. I’m knocking some sense into his ass,” she growled, stomping towards to door.

“No! Temari, please stay,” my voice pitifully shook. Thank god Baki and Kankuro weren’t here; I love them to death, but I can’t show the same emotion around them as I can Temari. 

“What?!” she demanded. 

“I told you he didn’t have control over himself, he didn’t think about what he was doing!”

“Yes, I know. Didn’t you say he did that earlier today?”

“Yeah”

“Then why the fuck is he here now? He’s going to do the same thing!” she shouted at me. I knew she wasn’t angry at me, she just was letting her anger out by yelling. Regardless, it was doing absolutely nothing to help me. I tried to hold back and sounds, any shaking, any signs of weakness, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I whimpered and sobbed, my shoulders shaking. I didn’t have a rebuttal; all I was relying on was the Naruto I knew, not the Naruto I met a few hours ago. 

“I want to talk to him,” I sobbed out. My chest was filled brimming with anxiety, “please”.

Her hand touched my face, wiping my streaming tears. I looked into her dark green eyes, filled with reluctance. 

“I’ll call him up here, but only because I love you. And if he tried anything with you, I’ll kill him for the same reason, you got that?”

I nodded, trying to make myself look more presentable after my absolute breakdown. 

“Fix yourself up, okay? I’ll go get him whenever you tell me to”.

“Okay,” I stood up, suddenly stumbling and lightheaded, “That might take a while.''

  
  


\---

  
  


His eyes were clear as ice, deep blue as the crashing waves. They were soft and gentle when he looked at me, luring me into his arms. But, I resisted, keeping my distance, at least for now. His cheeks were red, his eyes bloodshot. I wonder if he was crying as hard as I was. I kept my arms crossed, more for protection than to look cool. If that were my goal, I would have magnificently failed long, long ago. 

“C-can we talk? Alone?” he asked, his voice frail and soft.

“Yeah, follow me,” I replied, eyeing Temari to try to show her it was okay. She didn’t seem convinced, but it was the best I could do for now. I looked away, and lead him across the small apartment into my bedroom. Or, rather, mine and Kankuro’s, but that doesn’t matter. I led him in, and shut the door gently behind him, turning slowly to face him. I gazed into his deep blue eyes. He looked at me like I were dead, mourning me before I die, or reject him, rather. We kept that eye contact for a while, a bit too long if you ask me. 

“Naruto,” I broke the silence. It was far too tense for me. I never did deal well in uncomfortable situations. I never knew how to act, how to treat people. Do I try to change the subject, or address it head on? Well, in this situation, it was obvious. I can’t let Naruto suffer any longer. “You know I forgive you?” Naruto’s breath hitched as the words left my mouth.

“Gaara…” Naruto said, dumbfounded.

“Wait, I’m not finished. I shouldn’t have been there. It was a bad idea from the start. But, at least, it gave me the opportunity to tell you this. Naruto,” I felt the ball in my throat rise, suffocating me once again, “ Naruto, I’ve always loved you. From the moment you told me those words. You were my best, and only, friend. You taught me what that word meant”.

I saw in Naruto’s eyes something had changed. He looked more defeated, embarrassed. I thought back on my words, then chuckled lightly. 

“No, Naruto, I did not just ‘friend zone’ you. I started getting feelings for you a few months after the chunin exams, during my first heat. I think my body recognized you were an alpha before I really knew it. I love you, Naruto”.

His eyes were closed, probably in thought. At least that’s what I thought until I saw a tear streamed down his face.

“G-Gaara… you?” he laughed softly, “You’ve always been different. I’ve done my best to change people for the better, to make friends with everyone, to make sure people know I’m here to help them. But,... not everyone appreciates that. A lot of people… abuse it. They use me as some kind of therapist, tell me all their problems and ask me to fix it. And I do it because I love them. But you… you’re one of the few who try to repay me. You show your gratitude, with more than gifts or a drink… you love me. Of course, there are others that do this: Pervy Sage, Grandma Tsunade, Kakashi-sensei, Hinata. But, Gaara, you’ve done your best to show me that you love me, through thick and thin. I was always stupid and shared my problems with you in letters and told you I wish you were with me. And, of course, every time, you’d drop everything and run to Konoha. Every time. And, looking back on it, I was so stupid. I know you aren’t a touchy person and would wonder why you’d lay your hand on mine, or brush your shoulder against mine. I was so stupid, Gaara,” he laughed, the beautiful sound vibrating through my body. I couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“You were,” I laughed, “I’d lie in bed for hours thinking about how I could get your attention. You were so fucking oblivious”

He laughed harder. “Remember when you asked if I wanted to get ramen with you?”

I sighed, still annoyed at the two-year-old memory. “And you invited Shikamaru and Choji along, yes I do.''

“I wondered why you seemed mad for the whole meal.”

“Oh, I was pissed,” I agreed, shaking my head. 

Naruto scooched closer to me until we were sitting, pressed against one another, on the bed. He laid his hand on top of mine, leaning his shoulder into me. 

“I thought I was awful at being subtle and picking up social cues, but you, Naruto Uzumaki, take the crown,” I declared gently, leaning my face closer to his. 

He flashed his gorgeous smile at me, and leaned in closer until our noses touched and… he kissed me. He kissed me gently at first, taking the lead in slow, soft motions, directing me on what to do. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip, pressing in. I let my mouth open slightly, and he pressed his tongue in. He directed my motions again, leading me gently with a hand on the back of my head. 

A muffled sound rang through the door. 

“Kankuro don’t go in there!”

“Fuck you, I’ll do whatever I want”.

The door burst open, Kankuro looking at the two of us, with flushed faces. The three of us paused, and stayed as still as statues, just looking at one another. 

Kankuro broke the silence with a soft, deadly whisper, his eyes boring into Naruto. “Naruto, what are you doing with my little brother?”

“I told you not to go in there, you little shit,” Temari whispered at him from behind, grabbing him by the hair and dragging him away, but he struggled against her, and barged into the room, grabbing Naruto by his shirt. 

“I swear on everything holy and everything you love, if you if you hurt him I will fucking kill you,” he threatened at a whisper, pressing his face closer to Naruto’s.

I snickered, amused at the show. “I’d love to see Naruto try to hurt me. I doubt he can even get close,” I provoked him.

“Oh I could so easily,” he replied, getting a loud, hard smack from Kankuro, “B-but I won’t, I promise, I would never…” he kept rambling, panic evident in his eyes.

“Hmm, you could ‘easily’? Want to prove it?”

Naruto looked at me, fire in his eyes.

“Let’s go spar then. Bye Kankuro, bye Temari!” I shouted, opening the window to jump out. 

“Wait, Gaara! You have some explaining to do!” Kankuro shouted after me. 

  
  


\---

  
  


The spar ended up being a tie. We decided to do the best of three with each battle being exclusively taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu. Naruto was considerably faster than me and all around more skilled in taijutsu, but the battle lasted for around fifteen minutes until I was completely down. I, myself, was pretty proud of this as my taijutsu skills were pretty much nonexistent until I was thirteen. Of course, Naruto teased me endlessly over losing to him, but the ninjutsu battle was over in less than five minutes (Naruto likes to say it took ten, but I’m not going to argue with him. Either way it was a hands-down victory for me). Of course, Naruto couldn’t use Kurama’s power (as we’re in the Cloud Village, not the Leaf Village), but he could still use sage mode. He struggled for a while to get his clones to meditate with my sand attacking them instantly after they’re created. As for the genjutsu battle… neither of us is skilled at using genjutsu, but we are skilled at avoiding them. We stood on the training field looking at each other for a few minutes before we both decided we lost. 

We sat next to one another a few blocks away from the training field with smoothies, Naruto’s was peanut butter and bananas (I gagged when I heard his order) and mine was plain strawberry. I loved strawberries, and there was a luxury in Suna, as were most fruits. We just sat in silence, drinking our smoothies and looked out at the gorgeous mountain view. The most gorgeous view you can get in Suna is the sunset, where the beautiful reds, purples, and pinks shine over the sandy desert, with the temperature being tolerable. Just thinking about it makes my heart throb. I miss my village, the people, the busy streets. To outsiders, Suna is a shinobi village that is only known for its citizens being as hard as rocks. But that’s just an old facade. We have culture, the puppets, the wind festivals, colorful tarps to bring light to dark places. The only part of Suna I don’t miss is the food. I try not to take any of the tasty meals I get in the Cloud Village for granted, as they’re a thousand times better than anything in Suna. I remember taking Naruto to a ramen place in Suna. The look of disappointment on his face was immeasurable. 

I glanced over at Naruto, staring into his mesmerizing eyes that looked at the giant mountains. The turned to face me, our eyes meeting. 

“So…” I said, not quite sure what to say.

“Sooo…” he replied, looking back at me. “Okay! How about we tell one fact the other doesn’t know! I feel like I don’t know that much about you, so you should start!”

“Oh god, Naruto, I don’t even know where to begin. What do you know about me?”

“I know you like watching the sunset and cacti and sand and your siblings. What about me?”

“Umm… I know you like ramen and your friends and the color orange and you want to be Hokage and…” I thought for a while. What else do I know about him? I felt my face turn red. How do I know so little? 

“Come on, Gaara! You must know more about me!”

I laughed nervously.

“Then ask me a question, and you can answer it, too,” he told me.

“Ummm,” I thought for a moment, “What’s your favorite flower?”

“That’s pretty basic,” Naruto teased.

“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes.

“I like sunflowers. What about you?”

“This is kind of weird… I like water lilies. I never even knew they existed until the chunin exams. They’re gorgeous”.

“Huh,” Naruto said, “interesting. How about a non-shinobi related hobby? Excluding gardening, I already know that about you”.

“I like cooking,” I replied, smiling at the surprised look on Naruto’s face, “It just makes me feel good to make food for my siblings. Apparently, I make the good curry too. Lee approved of it”.

“Wow, that’s a feat. I like painting. I can’t really make any designs or anything, but whenever I’m bored I look for some d-ranked missions that involve painting. One time I painted a lady’s fence, another time I helped someone paint the walls in their house. It’s weird, I guess, but I just find it very satisfying”.

I smiled. Naruto has always been so wholesome. He just likes helping people in his spare time. 

“How about the one thing you’re the most proud of? You probably already know mine,” I asked, making eye contact with him, his soft eyes looking back into mine.

“Probably landing you,” he said with a wink.

“Ugh,” I replied, even though I could feel myself blush, “Really though”.

“Defeating Pain, probably,” he said, his eyes growing distant and somewhat sad.

“Not Sasuke?”

“No. I failed at that long ago, you remember. The Sasuke Retrieval Mission. He’s caused too much destruction for me to call that a victory. I don’t consider winning the war to be my biggest accomplishment either, for the same reason”.

“But Pain destroyed your entire village,” I reasoned. 

“Yes, but so few people died after the Rinne Rebirth. The only destruction was the village itself, and that doesn’t matter at all, not compared to the people”.

My chest warmed. It made me feel much better to recognize the old, selfless Naruto after what happened. 

“Yes, I understand,” I replied. 

“And yours?”

“Becoming Kazekage, of course. And I don’t mean the swearing in that I did, that was all a political scheme to control Shukaku. I mean gaining real power, not being a figurehead, and ruling responsibly. It was months after I was really sworn in. When people started to like me when I restored the friendship between Suna and other nations when the council started trying my ideas instead of ignoring them. And they worked. I’m a trusted ruler now, not a seemingly irresponsible teenager in fancy robes. But, when you become Hokage, I’m sure you won’t have to worry about that”.

“Why are you so sure I’ll become Hokage?”

“You have the power, you showed that in the war, and you have the determination. You just have to be willing to do painful amounts of paperwork and work with intolerable people,” I stood up, suddenly remembering my responsibilities, “Speaking of which, I should probably go. I think I have a few hundred pounds of paperwork sitting on my desk”.

“Have fun with that,” Naruto teased.

“Yeah, thanks,” I huffed.

“Hey, Gaara?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you, for today. Let’s do it again, say, tomorrow night?”

“Okay,” I replied, blushing with a smile, “where should we meet?”

“My apartment?”

“Sure,” I replied, “But you better not leave me out in the rain like last time!”

He laughed nervously, “I promise I won’t let that happen again”.

“Yeah, you better”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed the fluff (and yes I did call out Sakura for legit only taking from Naruto and never giving)


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara returns to Suna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added an extra thousand words cus I can

Keeping my confident posture, I strut out of the meeting room with my nose in the air. This meeting has been a catastrophe for me, but I’ll be damned if I show it. The Raikage announced that all the tedious meetings with daimyos and other village leaders were over, and all the Kage may return to their respective village. My heart sunk to the floor with his words, but I kept my emotionless mask on. I have, along with the Kazekage before me,  taken on a personality that described the perfect leader. Emotionless, quick thinking, adaptable, strong, bold, wise. I’ve gotten pretty good at acting the part, but, in actuality, have I become the part yet? Will I, or, better yet, should I? My father poured all his time into being the best Kazekage, even at the expensive of his wife and children. He was emotionless, obviously as a man with an ounce of decency or care wouldn’t have done a quarter of what he’s done to my siblings and I. Quick Thinking and adaptable? Certainly. I have a surplus of repressed hatred for him, but even I can recognize a good strategist when I see one. His plans were evil at best, but effective. Am I strong or bold? Bold, maybe, but not in a good way. A way that makes me unapproachable, considered rude or demanding. Strong? I presume. I’ve always been considered a genius, learning every jutsu thrown my way faster than the prior; I can have multiple third eye jutsu going on at once, and my mind can take it. So, I’m physically strong and mentally… but what I’m feeling is a direct contradiction. The sorrow drags a knife through my chest, carving out my heart. I’ve lost people before, even friends. When I wonder the lively streets of Suna and see a shinobi missing from their regular lunch table, or pass a late friend’s home… I feel a shovel digs into my chest; but, the idea of Naruto just leaving, not even dying, is lying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Pressing deeper and deeper, making me sink to my knees. It’s pitiful, I know. 

But today is the day I must say goodbye to Naruto, fully decked out in my Kazekage robes and headdress. There’d be no place for soft kisses goodbye or a promiscuous whisper of a promise. This was a formal goodbye, issued by the Raikage as a symbol of respect. It was nothing to take lightly or muddle with my newfound relationship. I was to shake hands and bow to the Raikage, then be escorted out by my bodyguards. The most I could give him was a simple nod, not even a goodbye. 

I marched through the parted street, all eyes were drawn to me with murmurs of shock and adoration. Kankuro and Temari followed me, just a pace behind me. I approached the Raikage, bowing my head to him slightly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. He turned my eyes to look at him, ever so slightly, and it tore through me. His eyes were sad, turned down in a devastating way, but he covered it well. His signature smile was there, but I could see straight through it. I don’t know if he was trying to put on a show for his friends or for everyone else, but regardless, this wasn’t Naruto. I faced the Raikage, my face stone. 

“Thank you for giving me and my shinobi a place to stay and wrap up the war,” I thanked him, “I hope our price will be long-lasting.''

He nodded with a smile, extending a hand out to shake, which I quickly returned. I tried to keep my face calm and relaxed as his massive hands practically crushed mine. I craned my neck all the way up to look at his face. It was hard to make myself look respectable in comparison to a man 30 years my senior and a literal foot taller than me. I turned and walked gracefully out of the mountainous village.

“You looked like a 10-year-old standing next to him, by the way,” Kankuro muttered teasingly to me.

“Thanks,” I replied, keeping the sarcasm heavy, “I figured”.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


My siblings and I took camp half-way in between Kumo and Suna. The traveling wasn’t too difficult from here on out; after we passed the treacherous mountains (where I had to save Kankuro more times than I can count), it will be relatively easy from here on out. There are plenty of trees to hop between and use for coverage from remaining enemies. Through winning this war was a huge win for the big five villages, smaller, oppressed villagers will beg to differ. Now, after our villages have taken a kicking from Madara, it’s likely an attack will be staged while our guard is down. Of course, they’d have to start by taking me out first. Though we recognized this, we weren't too worried. Both my siblings lay asleep on nearby tree branches in sight. I’ve always been the one on guard, as I don’t sleep. There are some nights where Temari will stay up to talk with me, sometimes about government affairs, but mostly about our hobbies and tell some stories. But, tonight was not one of those nights, though I wish it was. Unbeknownst to her, my mind has been running non-stop since I’ve gotten the Shukaku back after the war and started meeting up with Naruto. I’m sure if I had told her she would have strained herself to stay up as much as she can, but for now, I feel like I should reflect on the last month. Or Naruto, to be blunt. I don’t even know if I can call him a boyfriend quite yet. Does he think of me the same way, or are we not there yet? His gentle touches and kind words have steered me towards a yes, but he has always been outgoing and oblivious to others personal space. Just thinking of Naruto has me feeling guilty; I betrayed him, left him. Yes, it was unavoidable. I’m sure the remainder of my life will entail too much more of this feeling, as we’ll never be together. Our shared goal to become a Kage is destined to not work out. I’ve already become Kazekage and, well… I love my village, and all that it has done to lead me on the path to salvation. The idea of leaving my village, moving to another one… I couldn’t. I love Naruto, but I also love my village and it has become my life goal to fix what my father has broken, and then improve the village more. I’ve already started, with cleaner and more reliable waterways, changing what tax money goes to where (most of it was entirely wasted, go figure), and firing people who don’t do their job sufficiently. Has it made me a lot of enemies, certainly. Have I improved the village and got us out of debt with several countries, certainly. There’s still a long way to go, of course. That would include getting out of debt with the Leaf Village (even though they are incredibly patient, it’s an embarrassment to our country by now), and fixing our academies, for starters. Suna’s academies have created some of the best shinobi in the land, but we’re in desperate need of more. So many drop out and pursue “easier” jobs. Shinobi need to have drive, but they get it from the encouragement they get from the academy. We will still have to survey the teachers and the kids, watch over lessons, watch over daily trai-

“Jesus Crist, kid. You’re boring me to death”.

I startled forwards, “Shukaku,” I muttered aloud, and calmed myself. Sure he was never someone who is pleasant to talk to-

“Pleasant! Neither are you brat. I can hear you smack-talking me. Just because you can’t hear my thoughts doesn’t mean I can’t hear yours”.

I sighed into the cold forest air.

“My apologies, Shukaku. I simply-” I thought to him, though was immediately cut off. Typical. 

“Bullshit. I know you never say ‘my apologies’ and are genuine. ‘My apologies’ my ass,” he huffed out, sounding rather put-out to me.

“Well I’m sorry my thoughts are boring to you, but to be honest, I don’t care”.

“Let’s talk about Naruto. You sure seemed happy to make out with him. Didn’t you almost spring a boner the first or second time?” he cackled out.

“Shukaku!” he squirmed uncomfortably, hoping my siblings couldn’t sense me talking to the tailed beast. They both have gotten good at recognizing when I’m talking to him, just by checking my chakra. 

Shukaku laughed at, but then his tone stopped dead.

“A-about that other night, with that Shikamaru fellow. That-I honestly don't quite know what happened. I believe Naruto’s scent, from him being in a rut, riled me up. The scent of other alphas has always made me a bit bloodthirsty. That wasn’t my intention”.

I looked up at the stars through the leaves. At this time of year, most have fallen, as we reach late mid-November, but some gorgeous reds still remain. I admired the gleaming stars through them, so many in the sky, there must be hundreds. 

“I’m glad. I hoped it was something like that, or else I’m sure you wouldn’t have wanted to return, huh?”

“I thought returning would be good. I do get lonely out in the endless desert. You’ve always been boring-”

“Thanks,” I huffed out.

“-but it’s something to do, I guess. In all honesty, I’ve wanted to be one of those tailed beasts who could work perfectly with their jinchuriki, but it might be a stretch. You’re a good kid, but we aren’t alike, are we?”

“No, I guess not. But neither are me and Naruto,” I mentioned to him. 

“Ah, yes, Kurama’s jinchuriki. Good choice of kid, unfortunate that he’s tied to that fucking nine-tails, but I guess that’s why you like him. Because he’s an alpha, right?”

“Yeah,” I said simply. It was weird revealing these things to Shukaku. Sure, he already knows them, but it’s more than I’ve revealed to most people. 

“Are you going to bond with him,” he asked, slowly.

I sighed, my eyebrows drawing in. Bonding was serious. It was when two mates bit each other’s scent glands and permanently marked themselves as taken, which creates almost a psychic bond. The further you get apart, however, the more emotional strain there is. I doubt the two of us could properly take care of our villages with a stained, painful bond. I spoke with the widow of a late friend who were recently bonded. She described it as the worst pain she’d ever experienced, even as a shinobi. 

_ “Imagine every step you take is in quicksand. My body just feels… heavy. Like I’m being crushed,” she had detailed, wiping tears from her red, swollen eyes, “My heart hurts like hell, like when you grieve anyone, and I have constant migraines. But… that’s not what has been affecting me the most. It’s just the burden he lifted off me, that I’m accustomed to sharing with him… is back. It drags me down, makes me more tired. Nowadays, I sleep for 14, 15 hours a day. The most I could get before his-” she stuttered on her words, biting her lip, overwhelmed by reality, “- passing… was probably seven or eight. I just can’t handle being awake anymore. I can’t handle being alive, not without him”. _

I shook my head at the memory. Being a kage was a risky job; you are to assume you are always under attack. There will always be someone trying to take you out. If either of us were to be killed, would the other be able to live on? I remember watching Naruto’s face as he died, growing paler, his heart rate growing unsteady. I just had to repeat ‘if you don’t move Naruto fast enough, he will die. It will be your fault Naruto is gone’ until I made it, until he made it. It was the most stressful experience I’ve ever been through. If he had died, I don’t think I would have enough drive to make it through the war, not after seeing what I’ve seen. If we were bonded, this would be ten times worse. 

“No,” I replied bluntly, my chest getting tight. I hated the idea of not being able to be with him permanently, it burned me to my core. But… the village comes first, it always does. 

“I see,” he said finally.

He was silent for the rest of the night.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


“Owww,” I whined to Temari, who was holding her fan with raised eyebrows, “What was that?”

“Gaara you’ve been staring at your meal for ages now, and not replying to me or Kankuro. What’s up, I know something’s bothering you?” Temari voiced her concern, her eyebrows drawing together. I hated when she did this. I knew it wasn’t intentional, but she always makes it seem like she’s pitying me. 

“Nothing, I’m just lost in thought. But still, you didn’t have to hit me,” I complained.

“Yeah and you didn’t have to sit here for so long that your breakfast got cold (which, if you’re concerned took me almost an hour), but here we are,” she bickered back. I eyed Kankuro, trying to get some backup.

“I’m sorry man, but you have been acting kinda weird lately. You’ve seen spending half your days sleeping and the other half working. Not that I’m complaining about you getting sleep, by the way, it’s just so not you, ya know. You haven’t even sparred or trained at all,” Kankuro replied, averting his eyes from mine, but keeping his voice clear. 

“How do you know I haven’t been sparring or training? You don’t stay up all hours of the day watching me now, do you?” I asked him. I did my best to not sound defensive, more joking than anything. This did not work. 

“No I don’t watch you, but the ANBU does”.

Of course, he checked with the ANBU. 

I sighed deeply and dramatically. It was so annoying how they always had to complain ‘Gaara, Gaara you need to finish this, this, and this’, ‘Gaara you need to get more sleep’, ‘Gaara you should spar more’, whatever. 

“Thank you both, for your concern. I’m fine. I haven’t gotten time to spar or train, I have too much paperwork. As for my sleeping habit, you two are always nagging at me that I need more sleep, well. I’m getting more sleep now because Shukaku and I are cooperating more nowadays. Now, please, let me get back to work,” I spoke slowly and clearly, trying to get through their thick skulls that I was completely fine. Am I completely fine, no, but they don’t need to know that. I strut out the door, without looking back at them. I’m sure they’d expect some kind of apology for whatever reason later, but, quite frankly, I don’t care. I closed the door firmly behind me, hearing Temari say something softly that I couldn’t quite make out. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


As it turns out, when you sleep for 12 hours a day, there’s more work for you when you get back to the office. Huh. It makes sense, but I never considered it as it's never been something to consider. Honestly, it’s annoyed me to no end. Why do I always wake up from a great night's sleep to have eight, ceiling-high stacks of paperwork on my desk? I ended up giving up on that whole ‘sleep’ thing. It sure is nice, but it’s just not practical. 

Right now, I don’t know what the last time I slept was. Time just runs together. But now, for the first time… ever, I have no paperwork to do. It leaves me kind of empty on the inside. What now? Should I wait for more? Or spar? I don’t believe I’ve sparred with anyone since Lee, which was before we left Kumo. Probably around, say, November 15th-ish. Mid-November. And it is now… I stood up to go check the new digital calendar… oh no. It’s December 23rd. Christmas is in two days, I have no gift, and I haven’t gotten any exercise in a month and a half. I scrambled out of my office to grab gifts for everyone. That would include my siblings, Baki, Naruto, Lee, and some friends I spar with… who haven’t seen me since before the war. Ugh. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


How on Earth did I balance all my work, social life, and heath before the war? I honestly have no clue. In my scramble to get gifts and try to get exercise, I managed to get around six piles of paperwork stacked up on my desk. Life just felt like a scramble nowadays. I used to have a few hours to spend roaming the village and training by myself, but now? I have to choose between working, training and having a social life (not that I had much of one, to begin with, but I digress). I feel like I’m going through a midlife crisis… at 16. I ended up spending half of Christmas alone in my office and the remaining but with my siblings… but things have changed. Their smiles seem fake, all I can see is pity. I’ve been pitied a lot more lately; by my siblings, the council, and even some people on the street. But why? Maybe it was time to talk to them, or rather Temari.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


I finally brought myself to go speak to her after a day of nervously contemplating it. What was wrong with me? I used to be able to talk to her freely, but now? I don’t think I’ve seen her at all in a month, not since my birthday (in January) at least, and now it’s late February.

_ Knock knock knock _

“Gaara?” she turned to look up at me from her fan, which she seemed to be polishing. Her eyes locked on my face, and her face grew pale. She looks like she’s seen a ghost; getting paler and paler, her eyes wider and wider. Then that same damn look. Pity. 

“Hey, Temari,” I replied hesitantly, surprised by her reaction.  

“Gaara… what have you done to yourself?” she asked slowly, slowly standing up from her bed and setting down her fan, “I’ve heard for Kankuro, but Gaara… why?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Have you ever seen yourself? Look in the mirror,” her voice was full of concern, her hand reaching up to touch my face softly.

I glanced over at a small, circular mirror she had hanging in her room. I looked into it and, surprise, surprise, I saw myself. I inspected my reflection, looking for anything abnormal. Nothing. I’d say this was a prank if it were Kankuro, but Temari’s reaction was genuine. 

“What do you mean?” I asked her, slouching a little bit out of embarrassment. It was like having a room full of people laughing at you, but you’re just standing there. What’s the joke? Is there something wrong with me?

“Have you eaten? Gaara you must have dropped twenty pounds, and you’re tiny. Has Baki or Kankuro really not mentioned this to you?”

I thought back, hiding my body from her eyes, “Kankuro is always inviting me out to get food with him, but I thought he was just being nice. And I haven’t had a council meeting in a little while, so I haven’t seen Baki. Am I really that skinny? I haven’t noticed a difference,” I informed her, turning to face the mirror once again. I guess I can see my cheekbones a bit more than normal. 

“Do you want me to weight you to show you flat-out? Have you ever sparred or trained since Christmas?”

I shuffled away from her gaze. Her words felt judgemental, like criticism. I know that’s not her intention, it never is. But it still feels that way. 

“Gaara… you need to take a break… get some sleep, hang out with friends, train… eat. And you need to talk to me. I know how you get sometimes, I remember what happened after you died. You can’t hide all your problems in your work, or this will happen,” she advised.

I sighed. I had to take a break from the village? 

“Kankuro and I can cover for you, we know how to do everything”.

“I can’t ask that of either of you, Temari”.

“I know, but you didn’t ask. I’m telling you what’s going to happen. You don’t need to put in a letter or anything to the council, just let us handle it. But, for now, let me get you something to eat. Then, after that, you’re going to sleep whether you want to or not. Let me go heat you up some soup, you can talk to me about what’s been bothering you tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded. There was no point in arguing with her now. When I think about it, I really haven’t been eating all that much. I guess she is right, I was just blind to it.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Temari threw herself rather ungracefully onto the couch across from me. She leaned in, elbows rested on her knees and said one word:

“Spill”.

I knew what she was going to say before the word left her mouth. But how was I going to explain it when, honestly, I have no idea what’s going on? I don’t quite know what bothers me, there are too many options. Being away from Naruto, thinking about my future with Naruto (or lack thereof), being bonded, Shukaku, or even leftover trauma from the war. It’s probably a fucked up mix of all of them.

I glanced up at Temari, but her eyes were already fixed on me. No pity, no sympathy. 

“It’s about Naruto,” I confessed softly.

“Yeah, no shit. What about him?”

“Just… I think I’m in love with him. I wouldn’t know, but it feels right to be with him. I just feel happy and safe with him. He’s my alpha. But-” I put my face in my hands; she knows what I’m going to say from here, and it was too painful to put into words. 

“You can’t leave Suna, he can’t leave Konoha. I get it,” she summarized.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Shikamaru”.

She gasped abruptly. “Who told you?!”

“Oh, c’mon, I’m not blind. I can tell you like him,” I told her. 

“And… you’re okay with it?”

“If he makes you happy, yes. We’re in a situation where you will be able to marry freely between villages, probably in the next year or two. Yours isn’t that unreasonable. But… I can’t tear Naruto away from his dream and I’ll be dead before I leave Sauna,” I told her. She went through a series of emotions, from surprised to hopeful to… pity. But as soon as it came, it left. 

“Long distance relationships aren’t impossible, you know”.

I winced.

“What?” she asked.

“I-it’s normal for people like you… but not Naruto and I. The main purpose of being together, biologically, is to bond and have kids. But once we’re bonded, it’ll be painful to be apart, maybe even deadly. If we get into a relationship, we’d have to live together”.

She sighed, looking defeated. “Have you talked to Naruto about all this? I know you would never give up your position for your spouse, but will Naruto? Ask him before you send yourself deeper into depression. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to get some paperwork done. You should probably write up Naruto or something”.

“Right”.

The door closed with a click, leaving me in the dead silent house. I gathered the notepad near me, scribbling letter after letter, each becoming worse and worse. How was I to convey this in writing? I stared at the notepad, and it looked right back up at me. 

“Whatever,” I murmured.

_ Come to Suna, not an emergency. But hurry.  _

I glanced at the note. Oh god, it was bad, but it conveyed everything I wanted to say quickly and easily. There were no subtle hints, as I know they’d fly straight over Naruto’s head. I climbed to the aviary atop the Kazekage mansion where I sent the letter with one of Suna’s fastest birds. I made sure to tie a little white flag on its hind legs, to signal it wasn’t a national emergency. 

I watched the bird fly off into the distance, it’s elegant wings cutting through the harsh wind.

“Come quick, Naruto,” I whispered, watching the bird fly off.   
  



	9. IX

It turns out “taking a break” is a lot harder said than done. For most of the day, I wander through Suna aimlessly, wondering what to do. I know damn well what I should be doing (which is paperwork), but, of course, I was banned from that. I don’t particularly have many friends; in fact, I’d say that Naruto was my only true friend as he was the only one who seemed to reach out to me. Why is it that I have to be the one to keep myself attached to people I really don’t care much about? I guarantee that if I were to stop contacting my “friends”, not one would reach out to me and ask what I was up to. Not one. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong, what I could change to make myself likable, approachable. But, of course, my reputation describes me as a cold-blooded murderer, powerful enough to keep up with the strongest shinobi, at such a young age. I’m painted that way, but I never feel that way. I’m out of place with the other Kage and with my peers. I tend to think people just put up with me because I’m convenient to have around. It’s never like this with Naruto; in fact, he’s the only one I know whose taken every worry of mine and make me forget it, forcing me to pay attention to him and only him. 

I glared at my cold coffee. I never was very fond of this drink; it was a common and relatively well-loved drink in Kumo that managed to spread across all five nations. There were a few other foreign foods that managed to snake their way into Sunan shops that were mostly considered pastries. Honestly, I hated both, but I forced myself to consume them because maybe, just maybe, I’d grow to like them like everyone else. I might be able to show our nations are growing more accustomed to each other’s culture and growing stronger together in more minute ways. I truly think all these foreign foods are disgusting, but I’ll just keep shoving these things down my throat until I don’t reflexively gag, that’d be a great improvement. 

“Bro, what’d that croissant do to you?” A deep teasing voice spoke out from above me. I glanced up from my sitting position to see, no surprise, Kankuro. Even though that facepaint, I could still see his shit-eating grin. 

“My cra-what now?” I asked, raising an invisible eyebrow.

“The thing you’re eating. You straight-up look like you’re gonna murder it,” he laughed, pointing to the gross heap of something on my plate. The damned thing somehow managed to be overcooked, almost verging on burnt, and undercooked at the same time. 

“Oh. Do you want it?” I asked him, picking up the vile, crusty ‘dessert’ and offering it to him. I leaned in closer, so only he could hear, “I think I might puke if I eat any more”.

Kankuro huffed out a laugh and took me up on my offer.

“It’s really not that bad, Gaara”.    

I shuddered just thinking about it. 

“So what are we doing here?” Kankuro asked, stuffing his face with the gross pastry. 

“I don’t know… I’m bored. I didn’t want to watch another movie alone in my room and I’m already whopped from training earlier. I wanted a small snack, so I came here, I guess. I just wanted some company,” I told him, avoiding eye contact. I knew what I was saying was sad, and that he would probably just blurt out  _ well you should have invited some of your friends _ . Graciously, he just hummed and nodded. 

“Did Naruto reply to your letter?” He asked me, his voice neutral.

“Yeah, actually. He should be here tomorrow”.

“Tomorrow? You know I’m leaving on a mission tonight, right?”

I tried to act like this wasn’t my grand plan, “Yeah, I know, but Naruto had to take a day or two before he could even leave for Suna; it was the only time that would work. I think he’s gonna stay for two or so weeks and help out to keep the academy up and running. With so many children’s homes destroyed from Madara’s jutsu, it’s hard to keep the kids in a stable environment. I hope Naruto won’t do more harm than help, with all his joke jutsus,” I told him. Of course, Naruto coming had nothing to do with needing him in particular or anything, but we’d need an excuse to send him all the way to Suna other than me being horny. But, I can already imagine Naruto using that damn sexy justu or just plain shadow clones to fuck around with the other teacher’s and their lessons. I’d have to mention to him to respect the other teachers, but I’ll do that after I’m done doing him. 

“Hmmm,” Kankuro teased, “Are you sure it’s not just because you want to make out or anything?”

Well, that’s on the agenda, but I’m not going to tell Kankuro that. I just rolled my eyes. 

“You are, you sneaky bastard,” Kankuro huffed out.

I smirked at him.

“I swear if you two get your gross little cooties on my shit I’ll tear you both a new one,” he threatened.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I told him, exasperated.

Kankuro looked at me, questioning that statement before choosing to drop it and start a normal, non-sex-related topic. Finally.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


I felt him miles before he entered a viewing distance of the village. It’s something I could recognize anywhere, differing vastly from anything else I’ve ever felt. It was faint, yes, from this distance, but it still instilled that special, unfamiliar feeling in me. I feel safe. It’s not often that I do with my life under attack at all hours of the day, and I know the feeling is just caused by my body looking for protection that, quite frankly, I don’t need. But I won’t protest if Naruto acts slightly protective of me, only until it starts to impact my life or my village, that’s where I draw the line. I felt reassured, feeling him grow closer and closer. All the tension crammed up inside me started to unravel. 

I felt sluggish with comfort as I walked home, nearly passing out immediately after lying on my bed. 

  
  


\---

  
  


“Hi”.

I breathed in quickly, my body lurching forward in response to the sound. It’s not frequently that I fall asleep, and when I do, I wake up in a panic. But my panic lasted for a split second, until I fully breathed in the scent, once I could recognize anywhere. The strong musk that smells of home… Naruto. 

My eyes locked with his, and I was afraid to blink, begging this wasn’t just some mind trick. I felt my mouth open, gaping at him. I tried to form words, but my mouth just opened and closed like a fish.

“Did you not get my letter saying that I was coming?” Naruto crooned. He reached out a soft hand to lay it on my shoulder gently. 

“Y-yeah I did. I… just… I don’t know. Being around you just makes me lose my mind,” I stuttered out, feeling heat draw to my face.

Naruto grabbed my waist gently and pressed his nose into the crook of my neck. He deeply breathed in, then slowly began sucking on my scent gland. 

“N-Naruto!” I shouted in exclamation. He hummed, sending vibrations into my scent gland, making my body quiver.

“Fuck,” Naruto voiced, “Your scent is so strong, Gaara. Are you in heat?”

“N-no… you’re just riling me up. I’ve been thinking of you every night,” I confessed, blushing harder under Naruto fierce stare.

“Have you?”

“Yes”

“Good boy,” he muttered out. My body relaxed involuntarily with his words, pleasure running through me. I tried and failed, to suppress a moan.

“You like it when I praise you, omega?” he asked, his voice growing deeper into a growl. 

I moaned again, feeling his hand press into my groin. I rapidly nodded my head, trying to get more, trying to please him… alpha.

“You’re going to need to do more if you want to be praised again, baby,” he crooned, pulling me towards his chest, then downwards, off the bed, until my face was pressed against his groin, his pheromones driving me crazy. 

“Can you suck it, baby?”

“Yes, alpha… yes, yes, yes,” I whined back. Something in the back of my mind cringed at the shameless desperation. I felt embarrassed with my emotions, but the look Naruto’s giving me is too much. I started pulling down his pants, my body tingling when more and more of his skin was exposed. 

“Get undressed first, baby,” Naruto ordered, looking at me fondly. I shook a little. I was never confident in my body, always being so small and feeble-looking. I started taking off my button-up shirt, my jacket, and vest already off. My hands shook, and the pressure grew and grew the more I struggled with the damn button.

“Baby, do you want me to get undressed first? Will, that makes you feel any better?” Naruto gripped my shaking hands, looking me in the eye when he asked. I nodded rapidly, hoping to see his body would be a big enough distraction. He leaned forward and kissed me, shedding his jacket while doing so. He broke the kiss to pull off his shirt. My mouth watered looking at his abs. They weren’t well-defined or body-builder like, but elegant and natural-looking. 

“You like what you see, omega?” He teased, pecking a kiss on my lips. He stood there, only in his underwear, looking angelic. My body quivered looking at him, my eyes are drawn heavily to his groin. I could see the hard appenage bulging out. It was big, even though the underwear. My knees got shaky looking at it. 

He pulled at the waistband on his underwear, pulling slowly. What a tease. 

“You really can’t tear your eyes from my cock, can you?”

I blushed rapidly, trying to look anywhere but at him. He laughed, that beautiful sound and said:

“It’s okay, omega. I feel just the same about you”.

As horny as I was, the comment still shocked me. He was attracted to me? Why?

“Really?” I asked, trying to look at his face.

He hummed, stopping the tease to just pull off his underwear.

I moaned loudly, slick starting to drip down my thighs. His cock was huge, my body just aching for it. It must have been nine or ten inches, and extremely thick. Worry twinges at me, wondering if it will actually fit.

“Can I undress you, baby?”

I nodded, my knees growing weaker until I nearly collided with the ground. I felt myself get enveloped in his arms. He started fumbling with the buttons on my shirt, before letting out a loud growl.

“Naruto?” I asked, a little concerned, and very turned on.

He growled, once again, and ripped the buttons open, and pulled the shirt off. My ass ached, releasing more slick until I felt it bleed through my pants. I’d have to remind him to not destroy my good shirts but now isn’t the time. 

He moved lower, sliding my underwear and pants off in one pull. 

“Oh, omegaaa,” he moaned out, “Such a good boy, you’re so wet for me,” he praised, making my body tingle. “Come here,” he ordered, dragging me in between his legs on the floor while he sat on the bed, leaving me eye level with the most beautiful cock in the world. 

“Wrap your mouth around it, make sure not to use your teeth,” he told me. I did as he told, a salty taste filling my mouth. 

“Move your mouth up and down, baby”. I moved up in down, sucking as tight as I could without using my teeth, pushing his cock as far as I could down my throat.

“Goooood boy” he praised, putting his hand in my hair and pushing my head down, releasing when I gag. My jaw and neck ached, but I keep going, loving his deep growls and moans. He kept praising me, my body releasing more and more slick. I felt it run down my thighs and onto the floor.

Rapidly, he pulled out of my throat and picked me up, setting me on the bed. 

“Relax,” he ordered. I moaned back, letting out a small scream when I felt his face pressed into my butt and start licking my hole.

“Your cunt’s so loose for me, good boy,” he praised, my hole twitching. He sucked and his tongue probed me, pausing only occasionally for praise. My body burned with pleasure, my limbs weakening under his strong hands. I shivered and moaned with every suck, growing closer and closer until release. 

“N-Naruto?” I yelled, my hips raising. The pleasure stopped immediately, and I spasmed at the loss. 

“You ready for me, baby?” he asked, running his hands up and down my thighs; my body shook under his, loving the attention. 

“Yeeessss, Alphaaa,” I moaned back. Naruto’s eyes dilated and lined the tip of his cock against my hole, pushing in slowly. I practically screamed as he entered me; the feeling was too unfamiliar and pleasurable. My body tingled listening to Naruto’s moans, but mine were overpowered once he started thrusting. My mind grew numb, Naruto’s thrusting driving me insane. My breathing grew faster and heavier, and pressure grew in my groin until:

“I-I’m cumming!” I shouted, white fluid pouring out of me. Behind me, Naruto groaned and poured into me. Slowly, his knot grew inside me.

“Ooohhh, I feel so full,” I moaned to him.

“Good boy,” he praised, licking over my scent gland and holding me closer to him. He held me in his arms, crooning praise into my ear until I drifted off to sleep.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“How can we make this work, Naruto? We both have the same goal, and you getting the occasional mission here won’t be enough,” I told him. I knew one of us would have to give up our life goal if we wanted to be together, and I couldn’t. I needed to repay my village for the horrors I’ve done to it. But,... I can’t force or pressure Naruto into not becoming Hokage; it’s what he’s been striving for his entire life. He can’t give that up for me 

He looked back at me, with a hand on my thigh, “We’re going to have to rely on the occasional missions and, eventually, the Kage meetings. For now, I’ve got three months left in Suna, and Tsunade wants me to shadow you, show me the ropes. We can do this, Gaara. I’m sure we'll just have to work through it. It’ll hurt to be away from one another, but it’s what we have to do”.

I rubbed my temples and put my face in my hands. I knew he was right, I couldn’t break up with him, nor could I give up my job. 

“We can do it Gaara,” he told me, caressing my thigh.

I nodded in agreement.

“And we do have another three months after this,” he told me, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

I sighed. I was looking forward to more sex and time with Naruto, but, ultimately, will I end up getting too invested in a man who is unachievable in the long term? He and I will both be married to our job, so is dating in the first place even worth it? I know I’m already too deep in this relationship to back out, especially because I’ll be in pain the longer I’m away from Naruto. And I’m sure Tsunade won’t approve of me breaking Naruto’s heart, even if I didn’t want to in the first place. I took a deep breath, and raised my head from my hands, and looked into his ocean-blue eyes. He looked confident and strong, and the idea of leaving him hurt me to my core. My entire job requires thinking so far into the future, past my lifetime. Why bother doing that with my relationship? 

“We’ll figure it out,” I repeated with confidence, bringing him in for a soft kiss that didn’t stay soft for long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Can't believe I finished this fic. I'm very thankful for those who read until the end, I really do hope you liked it.


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